I love that soft golden glow when the first sunrays hit the queen city of south—Cebu in the morning. People struggling their way through the dust and smoke, losing themselves in the city. People says as the city keeps growing there is no space left for love among the people, they just love their jobs, their offices, their university and their money.
Real love only find place in the pages of ancient books, or in a two hours glimpse on the big screen. Sometimes it happened in a coffee shop…. But no, love was definitely a labor lost.
That one morning I saw…it leaped out of a fairy, and it come to me. I don’t know their names all I knew for sure something they were both intensely in love. Every day at the same time they would come to that jeepny stop waiting area. Even in the crowd, they shone through— a blindingly white picture of pure love. Just like in a cheesy advertisement —I call them Mr. and Mrs. M. As the jeepny arrived Mrs. M touch Mr. M bag across his shoulders, and holding hands they’ll struggle aboard the jeepny. As the jeepny start its engine, Mr. M hold Mrs. M hand while she pull out a purple magic ball from her bag, and she start asking question to him and shake that magic ball for confirmation answer if it’s a ‘’YES, NO, or MAYBE’’. That laughter and smiles they have in their faces like they don’t care the other passengers. Blissful picture of a couple that own the world.
Days, weeks, months goes by that smile and laugh spread within the minutes they spend sitting in the jeepny while doing some thumb fight in between. Sometimes in a while its Mr. M who will ask her and shake that purple magic ball with happiness.
But…..It all change, there was no Mr. M, no Mrs. M— and no warm glooming smile.
Then one day ‘’I’’ caught a glimpse of Mrs. M alone in that jeepny stop. I manage to get in to the approaching jeepny with her, and had the chance to sit beside her. Wondering why she’s alone, suddenly I asked her without any second thought ‘’Where is that guy that used to be with you every morning?’’. Minutes of silence, and I feel annoyed or embarrass that she ignore me, but the silence broke with a low voice of her ‘’He’s gone, not with me anymore’’.
As it always the jeepny stopped at the terminal. So many people clambering to get on and off the jeepny. Some wanted to go to the next stop and some just to get off sooner. Just like those people we met in life, some will walk with us a li’l longer, few will stay with us until the end and others will stop after a few steps.
What exactly happened was she’s so stubborn, she choose to find herself, to love herself a little bit more and see the world without being dependent and pampered by him. She needs time, but she didn’t realize that she’s asking too much, that it caused pain to him in some ways. He left for good.
Since the day he left, Mrs. M knew and feel the presence of that ‘’love’’ of old books outside the pages of a long forgotten stories. It was there, in all their efforts to spend just that few minutes together every day in a simple way that always great thing to remember and keep by heart.
Not all the best thing in life last long, so seized the moment while you can. We have to leave some of the best moments captured in life in our so called land of the past. We don’t even want it to be left, but we have to for some unknown reasons, may that reason is vague but we have to understand that the things from the past help us build and mold of what we have now and who we are in the present.
There are things in my past that I often wanted to visit but there’s no use crying over spilled milk so I prefer to live in my present. The 11th hour book session for the next day exam, the sweating moments during clinical days way back in college, and of course the thing called success after all the hardship when I finished my degree. The first love, the first kiss and the first heart break.
Why first love? It’s because that was the time when my young and vulnerable heart started to believe that fairy tale love stories do exist and I’m going to experience it. My vulnerable heart and damsel mind learned to trust without any fears and doubts.
Why first kiss? Simply because that was the day when I felt like a princess who fall asleep long time ago and woke up by his prince charming kiss. It was the moment that my innocent heart stopped to beat for a few seconds.
Why first heartbreak? Of course who could forget the unbearable pain, the long crying nights that I endured and thought I couldn’t bear. They were days where I blame myself for the failure of my relationship, I ask myself if it was my fault and what went wrong
Maybe you are wondering now why I elaborate those best scenes captured in my life. Well, for the reason that I believe that if it’s not because of the things happened in my past I am not who I am now.
The degree I’ve got from college which led to a career I am enjoying nowadays. That first love that make me realized that a fairy tale story doesn’t exist anymore, instead it’s about maturity and being responsible when you’re in a relationship. That first kiss which taught me it’s not about the moment that makes you giggles but it’s more on the sincerity and putting your heart when you’re doing it. And lastly, the first heart break, the first cut that hurt the most made me stronger and allows me to face the reality that not all relationship has a happy ending.
If there’s one word I have to believe today, it is destiny. I was destined to experience and conquered the painful past for me to be better in the future. It prepares me to be in a relationship that is founded with love and reality and not with make believe fairytales and false love. No heartache and painful experience can havoc a relationship if two individuals were emotionally and mentally prepared. All that happened in the past were only a setback for a real happy ending. My heart is healed and I picked up every piece of me that was broken and I am ready to make my own real life fairy tale.
Falling in love is like owning a dog. Love doesn’t like to be left alone for very long, but come home then love is always happy to see you. It may break a few things accidentally in his passion in life but you could never be mad in love for long. Love leaves you a little surprise here and there.
Is love good all the time? No, no way! Love can be bad, bad love, very bad love. Love make messes but it gives you big kisses when you laugh at little things.
Sometimes love just want to go for a nice long walk because love likes exercise. And when you run in the block and leave you apparently it pushes you in several different directions all it wants, round, round and round until you end up until you can’t move.
Love make you meet people wherever you go, people who have nothing in common but love stop then talk with each other. But most important LOVE NEEDS LOVE and LOVES HAVE IT. And in return LOVE loves you and never stop.