Some people appreciate art, including tattoo—so do I. Since I was a kid I find tattoo as a nice body art, it is like an expensive drawing in a canvass. I first started think about getting it since I was in high school, but I deliberately waited a long time. I got my tattoo a year after having my degree, and like others I regretted it instantly. And by regretted it I stepped outside that tattoo place and had a huge emotional meltdown.
I was shocked by myself because prior to the inking session, I had prided myself on having definitely no regrets. I made a lot of mistakes and dumb decision but I always felt I made the best choice I could make, given who I was then, and the information I had on hand. I learnt a lesson from it. It somehow got me to where I am in right now. And I wouldn’t change it. In other words lamenting things that occurred in the past is an absolute waste of time; we should always look forward and not backward, and try the best to live a life free of regrets.
‘’Things without all remedy should be without regard; what’s done is done.’’ This is such an admirable philosophy that something we might all agree to sign on to, a nice quotes said by Lady Macbeth to her husband. But on the other hand I think that to live functional and being human, you need to learn to live, not without regret, but with it.
Regret is the emotion we experience when we think that our present situation could be better or happier if we had done something different in the part, we took different path before heading to something. And it is painfully easy to imagine that you could have made different decision that would have led to a better outcome. We feel regret when we think we are responsible for a decision that came out badly, but almost came out well.
We have a vast body of literature on consumer and financial decision and the regrets associated with them—buyer’s remorse, basically. But then some researchers to step back and say, well OKAY, but overall, what do we regret most in life?
I think top of the things we regret the most in life is EDUCATION, all of our regrets pertain to decisions we made about education. We wish we’ve got more of it, and take better advantage of education that we did have. We wish we’d chosen to study different field. Others very high on our list of regrets include career, romance, parenting, various decisions and choices about our sense of self, and how we spend our leisure time—or more specifically, how we failed to spend our leisure time. The remaining regrets pertain to these things; finance, family issues unrelated to romance or parenting, health, friends, and community. Our financial decisions account less for our total regrets. So if you are confuse which one you buy, Samsung or iPhone product, let it go. Don’t stress much yourself. Odds are, you’re not going to care about it after few years.
For the things that we really care about and do experience profound regret around, what does the experience feel like? It feels terrible. Regret feels awful. But it turns out that regret feels awful in four very specific and consistent ways.
First is denial. When I went that time after getting that tattoo, I stayed up until late night. There’s exactly one thought in my mind—Make it go away, and I want my mom now! This is primitive emotional response. We’re not trying to solve the problem. We’re not trying to understand how the problem came about. We just want it to vanish right away.
The second characteristic is a sense of bewilderment. So the other thing that night that popped out in my mind was— What was I thinking? There is real sense of alienation from the part of us that made a decision we regret. We can’t identify with that part. We don’t understand that part. And we certainly don’t have empathy for that part—which explains the third component of regret, which is an intense desire to punish ourselves. That’s why in the face of our regret, the thing we can consistently say is ‘’I could’ve kicked myself then.’’ The fourth component is that regret is what we called perseveration. To perseverate means to focus obsessively and repeatedly on the same thing. Now the effect of perseveration is basically take these first three components of regrets and put them on infinite loop.
But there’s also a fifth one, and I think of this is a kind of existence wake-up call. I spent the rest of the night before I fall asleep with the thought of skin grafts or a laser. Then I thought about how my mom will cover for this act of idiocy. The whole point of acts of idiocy is that they leave you totally uninsured; they leave you exposed to the world and exposed to your own vulnerability and fallibility in face of a fairly indifferent universe.
The intensity and persistence with which we experience these emotional components of regret is obviously going to vary depending on the specific thing that we’re feeling grateful about. Sometimes we do make decisions that have irrevocable and terrible consequences, either for our own or for other people.
I think as individual we supposed to live with three things that will help us to make peace with regret. And the first of these is seeks comfort in its universality. Having tattoo is not a taboo in most society nowadays, besides at the first place when I have my tattoo it’s by my own will and choice. The second way is to laugh at ourselves. In my case, this wasn’t a problem, because it’s very easy to laugh at yourself when you’re 24 and you want your mum because you don’t like your new tattoo. All of us that experience regrets that contains pain and grief understand that humor and even black humor plays a role in helping us to survive. It connects the poles of our lives back together, and sent a little current of life back into us. The third way we can make our piece with regret is through the passage of time, which as we know time heals all wounds—except for tattoos, which are permanent.
So it’s been few years back since I’ve got my tattoo. It’s actually not that hideous. Some people when they see my tattoo, for the most part they find it simple on how it looks. But I don’t mind it because it’s not really they’re opinion that matter the most, it’s on what the story behind with the simple text tattoo in my wrist. I mean it!
Some of our regrets in life are not as ugly as we think they are. I love this simple art written in my wrist because my mother means a world to me.
It reminds me of constantly the most important lesson regret can teach us. If we have goals and dreams, and we want to do our best, and if we love people and we don’t want to hurt them, or lose them, we should feel pain when things go wrong. The point isn’t to live without any regrets, but not to hate ourselves for having them.
The lesson that I ultimately learned from my tattoo is, We need to learn to love the flawed, imperfect things that we create and to forgive ourselves for creating them. Regret doesn’t remind us that we did badly. It reminds us that we can do better.
PEOPLE DEFINE HAPPINESS
When a guy broke my heart somewhere in last quarter of 2013 my friends and I decided for a long ride going to South of Cebu to enjoy the white sand and the tempting crystal clear water. Long hour that occupied of silly talks and in between they let me cry, and handed me a drink. There I was, a heart broken but a smile and a good laugh with friends painted in my face, and it is something like hope rising in my heart.
Happiness is people— the friends who will weather any crisis with you, the camaraderie we share, and the moments that remind you that no matter what, you are never alone. Now that I am in my mid 20s, I see how incredibly important it is to have a strong support system of positive people you trust and who you know will be with you through the good and the ugly. The true secret is no secret; if you have good people, happiness will never escape you.
HAPPINESS IS THE ATTEMPT
That time I was striking and eager to stand by my own feet and manage my own financial concern. When I was in between jobs and figuring out what the heck I am going to do with my life, I started writing. I wrote the thing about my sentiments in life, the learning I gain in my journey until today, the things I wish I had figured out sooner, the process of transitioning adulthood—I am overwhelmed with the comments of strangers about my writings and somehow made a connection with them by replying their comments. I never had the courage before to let my words speak something in public. I didn’t believe in myself enough until I got to a point where I had nothing left to prove. What I found in that one little leap of faith is that trying new things adds to the joy of living. No endeavor offers surefire certainty, but the chance to do something that carries the weight of potential success is truly amazing. Happiness is the attempt—not the destination but all the steps it takes to get there. To try makes heroes out of us all. And there is no finer happiness than feeling like you’re even just little bit superhuman. And what I have learned from that is the happiness is showing the world what you’re made of. Perhaps, even more so, happiness is living a life you’re unbelievably proud of.
I just turned 24 this year. Sometimes I’m tempted to moan about this journey into adulthood. But then I see where the journey has taken me. As you get older, you find that it doesn’t take much to sow and reap joy.
I started my year out of the country and I consider it as a long break that is required for myself to see a better version of me the next steps I will make. It’s my choice to grow up emotionally and lay the healing process to time.
Just one afternoon, I spent time with a new found friend in one shopping center to buy some baby’s stuffs, and talked about everything under the sun. There was no huge event, no surprises, no lavish plans, but there was good food, hot drinks and great company. I wished I had learned this earlier on in life that happiness is about appreciating the small things. The sooner you find the courage it takes to be grateful for even the smallest thing, there’s nowhere you can go that will even leave your spirit too dejected for long. I’ve found it helpful making a list of the things I am grateful for, be it the weather outside the window, my favorite song in my playlist, or even a smile of a stranger. In finding these small treasures in the everyday nuances of life, I’ve found a silver lining, things to always be inspired by or hopeful about. And that just about kicks my sadness in the butt.
I believe that sadness is a stems from a discontent. Dissatisfaction from life and the way things are going. But there is an infinite number of ways to change that. You are the hero of your own life and you can make the choice to be happy and to launch into the adventures that will catapult you into something beautiful. When we become part of better stories, we choose to involve ourselves in things that go beyond ourselves. We create connections, join chapters with other people. Happiness is giving back. By far, the best happiness we can get from life is the chance to make another person happy.
I’m not saying to be sad is wrong—sadness is a natural condition. I believe what is wrong is falling in love with your sadness. It’s too easy, it’s not healthy, and there is a far better life waiting for you beyond that heavy heart. Sadness costs. Happiness, on the other hand, is free and weighs as light as cotton.
YOU MEET SOMEONE.
YOU TWO GET CLOSE
IT’S ALL GREAT FOR AWHILE
THEN SOMEONE STOPS TRYING
TALK LESS. AWKWARD CONVERSATION
NO COMMUNICATION WHATSOEVER
MEMORIES START TO FADE
THEN THAT PERSON YOU KNOW
BECOMES THAT PERSON YOU KNEW.
THAT’S HOW IT USUALLY GOES, RIGHT?
SAD ISN’T it?
There are things in life that we are not certain if we should let it go, leave it behind and move on..We are perfectly sure that’s the best thing to do..Easy to say yet too hard to do because no matter how best your surgeons are, the wound will still dehisence or worst,eviscerate..No matter how you break the chain of infection,still the agent are so strong and developed immunity to anti-biotic or any general nursing care you made..The pain will stay..That’s the reason it’s too hard to move on and get a life..It’s very destructing when you know the causative agent is still there,roaming around the world, having a life on it’s own and dominating..Infecting others..So sad,our immune system are slow to kill the pain..Good for them,their’s are strong.
MISSING late night talk with a person who was once a stranger then a friend
Merrily we fall out of line I’d fall anywhere with him
I’m by his side Carefully we’ll place our destiny
he came and he took this heart, and set it free
Every word he write or sing is so warm to me, so warm to me
I’m torn to be right where he is
Forever is a long time
But I wouldn’t mind spending it by his side
Tell me every day I get to wake up to that smile
I’m not afraid anymore
It’s nice to rekindle some past experiences especially if those are interesting and fun. So here I am today sharing what I feel inside through words that I can’t bravely admit to my friends.
Well let’s all have a tour to some of those moments in my life started when I was 18 years old.
Spending a life in a strange metro by myself since I started my college make me feel proud practicing the sense of being independent at the age of 17—yes I was 17 when I arrived in the city and start the journey of my study that will led me to a career after some years.
But after few months I turned 18, legal age and can start taking the benefits out of minority. But never came across in my mind that it will be the start of ‘nostalgic’ moments that until now I have to bring with me.
I had the ‘one’, the first in everything. Things happened too fast in the relationship that we can say those days it was really in the deep part. Things feel alright and we planned to take the next step after being 2 years together. Were totally open in both sides(family).
I realized that when were not in love we live in our own rules but the moment we fall in love and let him into your heart then you’ll start to live life considering his rules. You’ve to give up something and controlled your life for him. Love really changes people too much until sometimes there’s nothing left to the person you used to be. He will try to change you when he should just accept you for who you are. I changed a lot from a couch potato college girl to a woman who cares the house chores and some other things that I used to neglect before. I did it not 100% by my own will, it’s because of him who taught me things not just emotionally but life in general.
I used to just dropped my dirty clothes to laundry shop, I love eating outside, I hate cleaning my room every now and then and I am happy just reading books and watching movies alone until I knew him—he made me realized that things is always better when you shared it with someone special and do things together. That’s the thing happened way back then.
PRESENT: I been just at home lately for almost 2 months, I quit my job for some reasons and weird thing happened is I found myself doing the things and going to places we used to go. It’s been almost a year since that story ended, years having him are one of the best chapters I have in life. It seems life we can actually go back to the past yet we can’t have the complete details of it. Lately I am bravely facing reality that things is ‘mine, me and I’, no ‘us, we, and together’.
Yes, I did this things recently alone– No him.
I learnt that whatever happened in my past made me stronger and wiser. Bad experiences are equally important to the good ones. If the past is painful it doesn’t mean that it will hold my future (as if it will also be painful).
At my younger age I did not see that having siblings is awesome. Those days I live a life being the only one that is given the full attention.
Whenever I thought weekend, I hate it because of the reason that its family day—siblings day for me. I find them as my rival and great competitor in everything in my so called kingdom. I have with in me that I am the princess, and in my castle I don’t welcome those people who are potentially a threat to me.
But time never failed to make me realize that I have the precious gift since the day they make me their ‘DIDI and ATE’. They’re my life gem. Now that we all grown-ups and have our own choices of life to take, it make me look back of those young days we spent together and start missing those wonderful days.
A life with bhai– though we don’t share a bed time story book and play much when we were kids but the closeness we have inside is not limited like the time we spent together in childhood. There were times that I felt like I am not dad princess because he exist but he always make me see the bright side on it. You save me to dad’s keen-eye every time I am in trouble. You never failed to defend me until now. When were in our teen life, we less talk with each other but we keep secrets together. Whenever you’re into an emotional confusion to someone, you always seek my opinion. The moment I start dating, you are the first one who knew and met that guy.
A journey having one little sister is challenging but fun. I hate it the most when you share my room and played with my toys—but what to do, you are my younger sister and the ‘baby’ in the family those days. You even make me jealous when everyone in the house find you cute and adorable because it was me who deserve the compliments until the day you arrive in our lives. That little kid presence that given everyone a smile after a long day from work that make me felt I am not needed in the family—but those were the days. Going to college and spent days with our own friends make us realize that were best friends inside, that no one else can take care and love us the way we have for each other. That late night girls talk in our room and the giddy-goody stuffs discussion.
Today’s life is very busy but I remember the old days of childish fight, when we used to have silly arguments. We have lost some of the time but the golden memory will always be with us. The time comes that we’ll start to have our own so called family but it won’t and can’t change the fact that we our siblings and we are family. We do care, love and pissed off each other yet we can’t afford to lose one another. Were always partner in crime.
We may have different way of seeing life and career but it doesn’t stop the chance making me a PROUD DIDI to bro and a PROUD ATE to sissy in every single day of my journey.
It’s something unusual for a person like me. Yes, it is! It happened too fast that I even forget to take a breath.
It was a day spent just at home doing the usual routine, browsing the internet, watching some documentary shows in tv, preparing my food in between and exchanging sms with friends.
I have my mobile as if it’s life support for me, been using it for quite sometimes and believe it or not I use it for exchanging sms and talking to friends and family, other than that I only installed one game and two commu-apps (viber&whatsapp). I wasn’t born yesterday, it just that I don’t like putting things in my mobile that I don’t usually use or necessary until that day— I installed a kind of apps where stranger come to know each other in a matter of seconds.
I was updating something in my mobile and that certain apps pop-up in screen, it doesn’t ring a bell with me but it ignited my curiosity and it reached to peak point that I have to just download and installed it. The next thing is I exchanged messages to unknown people and killed my time with them. Few minutes talking with them I felt bored but when I’m about to sign out, here is this one person that caught my attention by name— not the name that I usually hear in my life, it’s something unique that made me to distract that person attention by a msg. He is a stranger, not just a plain stranger but also a snob one. I came to his profile and its very limited, even he have pictures but not also that clear—so I was thinking what’s with this stranger that I have to send to messages and it took a while for a reply.
So, here’s what happened—that moment he replied with me, I took the chance to start talking with him and bring up some questions to have conversation, and I succeed. That first conversation took for more than an hour. In the long run it feels like a routine to talk with him until we exchanged numbers and go back in an old fashioned way—the txting. But sms doesn’t satisfy me so I had to add him in my other commu-apps. Every time we have the chance to talk, we grabbed it (I grabbed it without any second thought). We do exchange pictures, sleepy, tipsy and lazy pics even.
And here’s the catch, she feel giddy, good, happy and laugh a lot with every conversation.
She even had a late night coffee to hold her sleepy head just to talk with him. lol
She even did the research what his catchy name means—and she found out this in the list
And he’s real name means he is POLITE and HUMBLE.
We are dealing with the so called journey of life. Every single day that God given to us, we are bless to start the day with the routine waking up in the morning and look forward how to spend the day, some occupied 8-10 hours working, other filled their day at school learning academic things, and certain people passed just at home, but whatever make our day it doesn’t matter as we all look forward to call it a day to just go home and relax.
As a part of the whole journey we encountered people with different outlook in life. We may meet strangers that we never expect to play particular roles in our lives. Those may be who we start connection with. It might be a good or bad relationship but it doesn’t fail to leave a lesson to absorb.
Most likely we tend to build a relationship with the basis that we like what we see in that person, we entrust, respect and feel comfortable. But we can’t deny the fact that maintaining a relationship is hard thing to do, it’s very impossible to handle something perfectly like on how it started until the passage of time.
Life changes relationship and so doe’s time. Because of that different priority, being busy and less time availability driven changes in our relationship. Life is always a result of the choices we make, a single decision may result a significant changes.
Change is a shadow of time in a relationship. As time goes by formality in some relationship is vanish, we go beyond the limit and borders of the relationship because of our confidence. We sometimes neglect the importance of relationship, and we forget to appreciate it.
There’s no coincidence, thing happens with a purpose and reason, little as it maybe. If you bump a total stranger in a middle of a busy street, it’s not an accident. The purpose might be to divert his/her attention to each other.
Feeling sometimes can be complicated and confusing but everyone dreamed of love and to be love. Love is wonderful and falling in love is amazing thing that happened in someone’s life. You don’t rush headlong into love with your eyes wide shut, it takes time to know and confirm yourself about the feeling you have inside towards someone.
Does soul mate sounds familiar to you? Well, who doesn’t? Each one of us believes that we have our own soul mate. The only way to find it is to open your heart and let someone came in. You’ll meet that one person that make you feel as if you’ve known him/her over the centuries even though you just met. That entwined the emotions of he has waited to find you as you have waited for him. There will be that tender feeling s in the first moments of greeting. That you are not blinded by love, your eyes is fully open with the possibilities of having a life with that person.
French people call it un coup de foudre (a bolt of lightning), some preferred to call it love at first sight, and that’s what we believe that the meeting of two-souls that is meant to be, that’s SOULMATES. There’s always that one missing part of your puzzle that exactly fit in to make the puzzle complete. Sometimes we think that our life is complete already but only to find out when that one person came in to the picture— everything goes smoothly and feel great. Then one day we woke up that person make us complete and define happiness.
Luck doesn’t favor to everyone to find their soul mates. Some settle to someone they think they can get along together and consider it as their soul mates, and make effort to live happily with the partner they choose. I always think that we can connect our time with others, but our heart and mind longed for the person who completes us.
Seven billion people living on earth, do you think I have the ‘one’ for me? The world is too big, crowded and hard to find that someone for me. But I still like to cling with the idea that each and every one of us has the ‘one’ that totally fit as the missing piece of our puzzle.
Despite of the facts that most of the good ones are taken; there are some people who have serious psychological issues, few weirdoes, the bastards and the guys in fashions I am working to find my magic man. Where is the one? Hmp! I am thinking of making a checklist for myself.
Here’s the list:
1. A man with accent. The one who comes with brand
2. Girls like flowers, who doesn’t? The one who love sending flowers
3. Whom who love planning things even the smallest details
4. Travel to exotic locations on a whim
5. He should be a man instead of being a guy
6. Can talk anything with sense and man who wear glasses
This is just a few things in my list, there are some to mention but I only pick those highlighted things. In my everyday life I met some potential magic man but most of them are far from what I have in list. Exchanging hi and hello that led to casual talks. There are few acquaintances that end up sitting and pampering our taste buds in good restaurant in the metro. Catching up with some for a cup of coffee that is sort of a date, but none of those meetings make me say and think that I found my magic man.
What really happened may not a happy ending but love doesn’t happen to me, I build my hopes on an intricate of day dreams. The fact is that everyone has issues and maybe constructing up a fake perfect man in my mind was my biggest issue of all. I’ve been walking around with the ghost of my magic man. He’s been haunting me, keeping me from a world of opportunities that were right in front of me, putting a wall for myself that block the good person to take place in me. And I am awake now with the reality that there’s no such thing as perfection. Love is for people who are realistic and smart enough to open up their heart and minds and to realize that a real relationship is the ultimate fantasy.
I’ve shaken off the shadow of my ideal perfect magic man, and starting finding myself.
And whammo! I have this man with me, the one who care and love me that I appreciate the most. One thing is growing between the relationship with me and him is love.
There are times that I ponder things about life and I always end up in the conclusion that life is about learning and growing. No one exists as perfect because nobody is. We tend to commit mistake along the journey of life. Most of us hit the books from our own experience, some learn from others.
In most cases some of us do not learn from his/her mistakes unless the consequences and reality slapped us in face. Middle-of-the-road scenarios we keep complaining things why we need to deal with circumstances more than once yet we cling on doing the same mistakes. Instead of wasting our energy in complaining why don’t we try to exert effort to take action and change what’s bothering us.
Things that I wished I learned before:
I should put myself first not that others. Sounds selfish and self-centered but I rather to think this way instead of giving a chance to those people who’ll take advantage of me. Besides I believe the old cliché ‘’love yourself before you can love others’’.
Being me is a good idea. I should stand proudly in the crowd being myself. There’s no wrong in adapting if it’s necessary but not to the extent that I have to forget myself for whom I am by pleasing others.
I should not be afraid to fail. Failure is something not to be afraid of. If I don’t experience failure then how can I identify its success I am enjoying now? If I don’t fail, then I’m playing safe, myself is being complacent, and the lack of failure is failure in itself. Following your dream is worth to take the risk but we should know to calculate the limit of the risk that we’ll take.
Examine the glass if it’s half empty or a half full. Whatever way you look at, it is how it is. In every situation it can be seen in two different ways, it’s either you’ll look at it in positive or negative side.
There is no such thing as free. We heard not just once about the free education, free lunch and free medical treatments—they are just said to fancy us, it’s a trick. They don’t come for free as there is always something that attached to it.
Easy success doesn’t exist. To get your success you’ve to prepare yourself for a lot of hard work in creating your success.
Forget the fairytale happily ever after ending. Reality shows that it’s not everything have a happy finale. In life you can meet accident in a sudden, you’ll lose money and even you’ll lose the one you love the most in a blink of your eyes. But don’t let this things hold you to keep going. Life consist two-important words, GO ON!
There’s always someone better than you in everything and when situation doesn’t favor you, think that there’s always a better next time.
Evaluate and be cautious with your ego—because it is sometimes a downfall. Ego is a nasty thing. It may allow the little arrogance and over confidence within us to grow and will led to stupidity.
I should not play safe in my life instead I need to play like I am not losing something, just struggling to win. I should work everything in smart way with a collaboration of hardship.
What is long distance relationship or commonly heard and known as LDR? By the word itself we can define it, and yes like others I can say that LDR is a commitment of two persons that is bind with love to each other despites of the miles that separate them physically yet they are still emotionally connected to one another.
In this era, being in a long distance relationship is not new to us; it is not just yesterday words that people talk about. In every corner, we heard different stories— some are dealing with the circumstances being a part to one another for the reason that the partner need to pursue career, other keep struggling to maintain the spark of being away with their love ones because they’re building a long distance relationship and just waiting for the moment to be together in some ways.
This famous quotes inspired me about long distance relationship, ‘’it doesn’t matter if where you are, if you’ve found love, DISTANCE doesn’t matter. Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for memories span the miles and in seconds that we are far.’’ In love loving doesn’t see any boundaries.
Certain things that help in dealing long distance relationship, of course in every form of relationship either its LDR or you are in same comfort zone, TRUST is important. You have to trust your partner, don’t let DOUBT take in. Relationship must build on UNDERSTANDING and DETERMINATION to make it work. Be OPEN to each other, be HONEST and SET PARAMETER of the relationship; make sure that you two are clear on what you have.
You can do these things in the long run of the relationship, DATING ON SKYPE video call, ECHANGING SMS and EMAIL everyday as often as possible. Getting touch with one another is important, keeping posted to each other whereabouts and whatabouts. DO THINGS TOGETHER like watching movies simultaneously and talk about the movie after. PURSUE COMMON INTEREST even doing it apart takes time in each other kitchen and explores new recipes to talk afterwards and be a taste buddies when you’ll catch up. TALK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE TOGETHER; make oneself a part of the planning. VISIT OFTENLY aside from the busy time you have at work, catching up each other as often as you can, as your budgets permit you to. Relationship cannot bloom if the only thing you have is the online communication to see each other, you need to cuddle each other close in every chance you get. And lastly BE POSITIVE and don’t focus on the negative aspect of a long distance relationship. It’s essential keeping your relationship grows even you’re not physically together.
Every little moment leading up to the one that is fated for you, somehow molds you for that person destined to be with you. Any of those crestfallen moments, dark days or solitary nights can be vitally essential in the grand scheme of things— there are times that we need to feel or slapped by a certain situation with wrong things for us to know when thing is right.
Behind any success moments is a remarkable failures and commitments that leads to marriage has experienced being in a dysfunctional relationship that once crashed a loving heart yet choose to believe that you’ve to learn to listen what your heart says, learned if you never make room for a better things and ways to be, if you never clear out things in life that stand the way your happiness, then you are not aligning your universe allowing wonderful things to happen.
In this life it’s not all about finding yourself; it’s about creating oneself and making a certain moment with your best shot. And the same goes in love, you don’t have to find love and chase for it. You build road for love to travel and wait for it to come.
Imagine a food without a flavor every day; do you think it will be delicious and tempting to our taste bud? For me it’s a NO. I can’t even envision a life without any color, without capricious that make the excitement in every phases. There are times that we are in to life and limb situation, it sounds critical for us to decide yet we have to remember that it’s the best way to bring something to life.
I was once told by a one of a kind man that in human existence we SHOULD NOT focus on one side because life itself composed of opposite things, even they are totally different they make use from one another, and we both get the benefits from each side. A perfect example is the UP’s and DOWN we encountered in our journey, they are totally opposite, isn’t it? Yet it helps us to differentiate each other, without the UP’s we’ll never know what is DOWN and vice versa. So, treasure every little things you have either you like it or not.
He shared to me that in our lives we met bunch of people from childhood days, college life, work place and even others who across in your path surprisingly. Uncountable acquaintances in any circumstances, many have left, some still exist and perhaps there are only few that will stay with us for goods and keep the core of relationship.
I am pondering that for those who had come into my life and left they are those characters that their part in my story is over. Either they became a part of me for a reason or for a season. And one thing is clear—those people leave us a lesson to learn in some ways.
However, it’s not the days, weeks, months or years of interaction which decides if someone is for lifetime. But what matter is, dancing with the right music differentiate someone for the rest. Yes, it could be the same race, same coincidence but it doesn’t guarantee that people are same. Let’s face the reality that our five fingers are not in equal therefore in mankind we are different from each other.
There’s always a story in each and every wounds that leave a scars.
Scar that remind us some of the things that we want to forget. There are wounds that is best heal by time, just trust the time after doing something that it will be okay on its perfect time.
We been there and done that— our young-innocent heart once wounded and left by a mark, a big scar that sometimes make us weak to see the reality after what happened. But by the passage of time, we came out with the realization that its best heal by time. The pain is slowly gone until the time that we can bravely stand and talk about it. We can’t change the things that happened but we can always make it a baseline to avoid things to happen again. Feelings change but memories don’t.
First cut is the deepest, first heartbreak may leave a deep cut. Sometimes it is the reason why we fear to fall in love because of the thought that it might happen again. A new heartbreak, another wound and scar to heal, another pain to deal and another moving on process that usually takes time.
Love is the best gift God gave to humankind and He is continually giving to us. Loving makes the world go round; it is the music that everyone likes to dance with regardless of age. Everyone experienced different story of being hurt and wounded, but if there’s some who haven’t experienced it—lucky that person. Heartbreak should not the reason for us to give our best in loving and to stop believing in love. In life it’s the ability to GIVE, RECEIVE and even lost love. What a waste in life if we don’t love. Remember that when you been through from heartbreak, it will take time for you to welcome yourself in the next commitment because you’re extra careful choosing the next person to share the emotions. And you don’t have to end up in the same heartbreak that you passed through.
Either its bad or good things that happened, we have to take it as a lesson to learn. Experience is the best teacher. A heart break will mold you to be stronger person that you can, it will help you smart and mature enough to deal love. And one day we’ll find ourselves laughing at it and reminiscing how naïve we were before.
What is love? that’s the question I keep in mind everyday – I even asked my parents about it and the two of them agreed with each other answer, LOVE is when you care someone, you try your best to prioritized that someone happiness over yourself. But I guess love is best defined when you yourself experienced it. You’ll know what love is when you are in love.
And when you think about it, most love stories start that way. Every moment leading up to the one in which you will love somehow shapes you and prepares you for that person you were fated for. Any previous heartbreaks or dark days or lonely nights can be crucially important in the grand scheme of things—sometimes we need to know what something feels like when it’s wrong before we can ever really know it when another thing is RIGHT.
I been there and done that – failed relationship in love. In my case, love change me the way I think, the way I decide and sometimes I go against my principles and beliefs in life. Loving doesn’t guarantee that I’ll be happy always; there are times that it provides me pain and misery. Yet, I was blinded by strong emotions that I failed to see reality. Those days the answer was letting go, it hurts like hell but I realized that it’s better to see myself to be happy and grow with someone who deserves.
Things that I’ve learned from falling in love— that is to stand up no matter how painful the cuts, to fight for what I believe in, and to wait …because even if I think now is the right time to give extra effort, waiting is even more worth it. When you love, never stick to what your heart feels. Sometimes using your brain is necessity. Never use your eyes to cry over and over for the person who hurt you instead use it to search for the better one. Don’t be afraid of breaking up, there’s no use staying in a dysfunctional relationship. Give chance to the one who love you and willing to establish mature relationship with you. The one that will fight for you and stand in each and every consequence you’ll face.
Not all the best thing in life last long, so seized the moment while you can. We have to leave some of the best moments captured in life in our so called land of the past. We don’t even want it to be left, but we have to for some unknown reasons, may that reason is vague but we have to understand that the things from the past help us build and mold of what we have now and who we are in the present.
There are things in my past that I often wanted to visit but there’s no use crying over spilled milk so I prefer to live in my present. The 11th hour book session for the next day exam, the sweating moments during clinical days way back in college, and of course the thing called success after all the hardship when I finished my degree. The first love, the first kiss and the first heart break.
Why first love? It’s because that was the time when my young and vulnerable heart started to believe that fairy tale love stories do exist and I’m going to experience it. My vulnerable heart and damsel mind learned to trust without any fears and doubts.
Why first kiss? Simply because that was the day when I felt like a princess who fall asleep long time ago and woke up by his prince charming kiss. It was the moment that my innocent heart stopped to beat for a few seconds.
Why first heartbreak? Of course who could forget the unbearable pain, the long crying nights that I endured and thought I couldn’t bear. They were days where I blame myself for the failure of my relationship, I ask myself if it was my fault and what went wrong
Maybe you are wondering now why I elaborate those best scenes captured in my life. Well, for the reason that I believe that if it’s not because of the things happened in my past I am not who I am now.
The degree I’ve got from college which led to a career I am enjoying nowadays. That first love that make me realized that a fairy tale story doesn’t exist anymore, instead it’s about maturity and being responsible when you’re in a relationship. That first kiss which taught me it’s not about the moment that makes you giggles but it’s more on the sincerity and putting your heart when you’re doing it. And lastly, the first heart break, the first cut that hurt the most made me stronger and allows me to face the reality that not all relationship has a happy ending.
If there’s one word I have to believe today, it is destiny. I was destined to experience and conquered the painful past for me to be better in the future. It prepares me to be in a relationship that is founded with love and reality and not with make believe fairytales and false love. No heartache and painful experience can havoc a relationship if two individuals were emotionally and mentally prepared. All that happened in the past were only a setback for a real happy ending. My heart is healed and I picked up every piece of me that was broken and I am ready to make my own real life fairy tale.
Falling in love is like owning a dog. Love doesn’t like to be left alone for very long, but come home then love is always happy to see you. It may break a few things accidentally in his passion in life but you could never be mad in love for long. Love leaves you a little surprise here and there.
Is love good all the time? No, no way! Love can be bad, bad love, very bad love. Love make messes but it gives you big kisses when you laugh at little things.
Sometimes love just want to go for a nice long walk because love likes exercise. And when you run in the block and leave you apparently it pushes you in several different directions all it wants, round, round and round until you end up until you can’t move.
Love make you meet people wherever you go, people who have nothing in common but love stop then talk with each other. But most important LOVE NEEDS LOVE and LOVES HAVE IT. And in return LOVE loves you and never stop.
AN OLD CLICHÉ SAYS ‘’OPPOSITE POLES ATTRACT TOGETHER’’. IF YOU ARE NOT CONVINCED YET THEN START TO AT LEAST BELIEVE THAT IT’S POSSIBLE. JUST DON’T STAY IN ONE CORNER WITHOUT DOING SOMETHING FOR THAT THING TO HAPPEN. DO YOUR PART, INITIATES FOR YOUR FATE, YOU’LL NOT KNOW WHATS FOR YOU UNLESS YOU’LL GIVE IT A TRY. DON’T GET STUCK IN CORNER THINKING THAT THINGS IS IMPOSSIBLE ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIP, WHICH DIFFERENCES IS A HINDRANCE.
IT’S REWARDING BEING WITH SOMEONE WHO IS TOTALLY OPPOSITE WITH YOU, BUT CHOOSES TO CLING AND COMMITTED TO WHAT YOU HAVE. TODAYS GENERATION THAT WERE GLOBALLY CONSCIOUS AND WE HAVE ACCESS OF COMMUNICATION, ONLINE DATING SERVE AS A GROUND WHERE PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT PLACES INTERACT. GETTING INVOLVED IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A MAN WHO IS NOT YOUR KIND IS ACCEPTABLE IN SOME SOCIETY—IT’S NOT TABOO. DESPITE OF ALL THE DIFFERENCES, A CHERUBIC FAIRY FIND A PERFECT ANGLE TO HIT TWO STRANGE HEART BY AN ARROW. AND HE MADE IT.
LOVING HAS NO BOUNDARIES. YOU MAY FALL TO THE ONE RAISED BY PARENTS TO PRAY 5X A DAY AND VISIT THE HOLY PLACE EVERY FRIDAY, WHICH IS FAR DIFFERENT FROM YOUR GOING TO CHURCH IN SUNDAY FOR MASS. THE ONE WHO GREW UP IN A SOCIETY WHERE A MAN AND WOMAN IS NOT OPENLY GET ACQUAINTED TO EACH OTHER, WHILE IN THE OTHER HAND YOU SPEND MOST OF YOUR LIFE IN A STATE WHERE EVERYBODY REGARDLESS BY GENDER ARE FREE TO MINGLE WITH EACH OTHER. ANY PORK DISHES IS YOUR FAVORITE BUT ON HIS DIET ITS PROHIBITED. SPICY FOOD IS WHAT HE LOVES WHILE YOUR TASTE BUD IS INTO SWEET STUFFS.BARE BACK DRESS OR YOUR TATTER MINI SKIRT/SHORT IN PUBLIC BUT IN THAT SOMEONE COMFORT-ZONE THAT CHOICE OF FASHION IS SHAMEFUL FOR THEIR WOMEN. YOU CAN CHOOSE FROM A VARIETY OF HAIRSTYLE IN ANY OCCASION WHILE IN HIS SIDE WOMEN WEARS HIJAB ANY TIME NEVERTHELESS WHO THEY ARE IN THE SOCIETY AND THE EVENTS THEY’RE INTO. STRANGE MOTHER TONGUE YOU GUYS HAVE BUT STILL YOU MANAGE TO EXPRESS THE LOVE FOR EACH OTHER.
IN ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP BOTH PARTIES JUST NEED TO BE DETERMINE TO OVERCOME THE DIFFERENCES AND ACCEPT IT.
FOR LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP, A WEAK HEART HAS NO SPACE IN LOVING.
After having that special connection to that someone I think I can’t live without. Grounded myself to that commitment I was into. But there’s no point holding on a dysfunctional relationship that’s why I have to let go of the grip. Getting over a break up is hard. It is like letting go of my dream in life but it doesn’t mean that I have to stop driving myself to the road of love. Falling in love and getting into relationship doesn’t guarantee that it will last longer. There are relationship ends simply because they don’t belong to each other and for some deep reasons they can’t hold to stay together.And mine is one of those.
(i told myself) Remember falling in love is a bit risky and relationship is a hard work. But I don’t have to be scared taking the risk and stand that I can make it to be in a relationship after learning from the previous.
I give a space to heal my wounded heart but as time goes by I realized that I have to take advantage of that with learning and making myself to a better person instead of being bitter despite of what happened. I don’t have to make wall for myself by protecting, by building that wall it limits the good persons to come in. I stopped wandering what went wrong in the previous relationship; always I work to think that things happened for reasons. It’s not a real mistake unless I don’t learn from what happened. I involved myself getting acquainted with others and look them the way they are, I quit comparing them to whom I have relationship in the past. I know every person I meet is different and I gonna love them differently, for better and for worst is just how things happened. When I meet someone new, we could create something new together. Giving myself a chance to be amazingly in love and strongly face whatever the relationship take for me. I have to be less worry because there’s two people involve in relationship, I am not alone. And it always takes two to tango for a relationship to work.
To live is to risk. Take the risk and feel alive in love.