Feelings change – memories don't.

Posts tagged “family

I WOULDN’t Mind

Merrily we fall out of line I’d fall anywhere with him
I’m by his side                                                                                                                     Carefully we’ll place our destiny
he came and he took this heart, and set it free
Every word he write or sing is so warm to me, so warm to me
I’m torn to be right where he is                                    

Forever is a long time
But I wouldn’t mind spending it by his side
Tell me every day I get to wake up to that smile

I’m not afraid anymore


It just feel good to REMINISCE

It’s nice to rekindle some past experiences especially if those are interesting and fun. So here I am today sharing what I feel inside through words that I can’t bravely admit to my friends.

Well let’s all have a tour to some of those moments in my life started when I was 18 years old.

Spending a life in a strange metro by myself since I started my college make me feel proud practicing the sense of being independent at the age of 17—yes I was 17 when I arrived in the city and start the journey of my study that will led me to a career after some years.

But after few months I turned 18, legal age and can start taking the benefits out of minority. But never came across in my mind that it will be the start of ‘nostalgic’ moments that until now I have to bring with me.

I had the ‘one’, the first in everything. Things happened too fast in the relationship that we can say those days it was really in the deep part. Things feel alright and we planned to take the next step after being 2 years together. Were totally open in both sides(family).

I realized that when were not in love we live in our own rules but the moment we fall in love and let him into your heart then you’ll start to live life considering his rules. You’ve to give up something and controlled your life for him. Love really changes people too much until sometimes there’s nothing left to the person you used to be. He will try to change you when he should just accept you for who you are. I changed a lot from a couch potato college girl to a woman who cares the house chores and some other things that I used to neglect before. I did it not 100% by my own will, it’s because of him who taught me things not just emotionally but life in general.

I used to just dropped my dirty clothes to laundry shop, I love eating outside, I hate cleaning my room every now and then and I am happy just reading books and watching movies alone until I knew him—he made me realized that things is always better when you shared it with someone special and do things together. That’s the thing happened way back then.

PRESENT: I been just at home lately for almost 2 months, I quit my job for some reasons and weird thing happened is I found myself doing the things and going to places we used to go. It’s been almost a year since that story ended, years having him are one of the best chapters I have in life. It seems life we can actually go back to the past yet we can’t have the complete details of it. Lately I am bravely facing reality that things is ‘mine, me and I’, no ‘us, we, and together’.

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Yes, I did this things recently alone– No him. 

I learnt that whatever happened in my past made me stronger and wiser. Bad experiences are equally important to the good ones. If the past is painful it doesn’t mean that it will hold my future (as if it will also be painful).

 


Life REAL-GEM

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At my younger age I did not see that having siblings is awesome. Those days I live a life being the only one that is given the full attention.

Whenever I thought weekend, I hate it because of the reason that its family day—siblings day for me. I find them as my rival and great competitor in everything in my so called kingdom. I have with in me that I am the princess, and in my castle I don’t welcome those people who are potentially a threat to me.

But time never failed to make me realize that I have the precious gift since the day they make me their ‘DIDI and ATE’. They’re my life gem. Now that we all grown-ups and have our own choices of life to take, it make me look back of those young days we spent together and start missing those wonderful days.

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A life with bhai– though we don’t share a bed time story book and play much when we were kids but the closeness we have inside is not limited like the time we spent together in childhood.  There were times that I felt like I am not dad princess because he exist but he always make me see the bright side on it. You save me to dad’s keen-eye every time I am in trouble. You never failed to defend me until now. When were in our teen life, we less talk with each other but we keep secrets together. Whenever you’re into an emotional confusion to someone, you always seek my opinion. The moment I start dating, you are the first one who knew and met that guy.

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A journey having one little sister is challenging but fun. I hate it the most when you share my room and played with my toys—but what to do, you are my younger sister and the ‘baby’ in the family those days. You even make me jealous when everyone in the house find you cute and adorable because it was me who deserve the compliments until the day you arrive in our lives. That little kid presence that given everyone a smile after a long day from work that make me felt I am not needed in the family—but those were the days. Going to college and spent days with our own friends make us realize that were best friends inside, that no one else can take care and love us the way we have for each other. That late night girls talk in our room and the giddy-goody stuffs discussion.

Today’s life is very busy but I remember the old days of childish fight, when we used to have silly arguments. We have lost some of the time but the golden memory will always be with us. The time comes that we’ll start to have our own so called family but it won’t and can’t change the fact that we our siblings and we are family. We do care, love and pissed off each other yet we can’t afford to lose one another. Were always partner in crime.

We may have different way of seeing life and career but it doesn’t stop the chance making me a PROUD DIDI to bro and a PROUD ATE to sissy in every single day of my journey.