Feelings change – memories don't.

YOU there and Me here

travel

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Bored of all too familiar day to day routine? Exhausted sitting for long hours in same area? Tired of being monotonous? Whatever the reason, you should remember that you deserve a break.  These feeling are normal but keeping them will make you stressful and it’s unpleasant.

So if you have that feeling, why not let it go by traveling? Consider for a great escape.  Plan a trip. It all takes is to be physically fit, keep some money, and an open mind with a sense of adventure.

In traveling you can see places, meet new people, and experience new culture. Let’s not be hypocrite about the fact that new things mostly excite us. And that excitement may help increase the interest to your job or life in general. Booking your destination would buoy up and give positive outlook while waiting for the day of your vacation.

If you feel like you need a break—start your trip NOW! Why now?

Remember that SECOND CHANCES ARE ALWAYS HARD TO COME BY—so make a count.

If you’re physically fit, take advantage of that strong and healthy body of yours. Make use of it enjoying some adrenaline activities such as wake boarding, water rafting, mountain climbing, bungee jumping and so on. Exploring places required every single drops of your energy.

If you’re young-single working individual, it’s not a hard thing to be flexible with your time. We both know that work sometimes put hold on our time, but isn’t it challenging to balance the two? You’ve the control over your money. You may have the financial responsibilities to your family but it’s not a hindrance for your trip. You can be wise by adding your saving account or spend for certain travel. But isn’t it great and smart way if you do both?

If you’re not tie to any vow of commitment to someone, you’ve all the freedom to explore every edges of the social world. You can start friendship or build a special relationship within your trip. And the door is widely open for meeting the ‘one’ for you. Traveling absolutely allow the possibilities to meet new people. All you just have to do is let the ‘friendly’ you to goes out.

Traveling is not just about going there and enjoying the place. It’s includes learning—a colossal amount of learning and discovering. It help you grow up as an individual, continues seeing and adopting new ideas.

So, the perfect time for you to travel is NOW—don’t delay.


NO (don’t) REGRET for REGRETS

Some people appreciate art, including tattoo—so do I. Since I was a kid I find tattoo as a nice body art, it is like an expensive drawing in a canvass. I first started think about getting it since I was in high school, but I deliberately waited a long time. I got my tattoo a year after having my degree, and like others I regretted it instantly. And by regretted it I stepped outside that tattoo place and had a huge emotional meltdown.

I was shocked by myself because prior to the inking session, I had prided myself on having definitely no regrets. I made a lot of mistakes and dumb decision but I always felt I made the best choice I could make, given who I was then, and the information I had on hand. I learnt a lesson from it. It somehow got me to where I am in right now. And I wouldn’t change it. In other words lamenting things that occurred in the past is an absolute waste of time; we should always look forward and not backward, and try the best to live a life free of regrets.

‘’Things without all remedy should be without regard; what’s done is done.’’ This is such an admirable philosophy that something we might all agree to sign on to, a  nice quotes said by Lady Macbeth to her husband.  But on the other hand I think that to live functional and being human, you need to learn to live, not without regret, but with it.

Regret is the emotion we experience when we think that our present situation could be better or happier if we had done something different in the part, we took different path before heading to something. And it is painfully easy to imagine that you could have made different decision that would have led to a better outcome. We feel regret when we think we are responsible for a decision that came out badly, but almost came out well.

We have a vast body of literature on consumer and financial decision and the regrets associated with them—buyer’s remorse, basically. But then some researchers to step back and say, well OKAY, but overall, what do we regret most in life?

I think top of the things we regret the most in life is EDUCATION, all of our regrets pertain to decisions we made about education. We wish we’ve got more of it, and take better advantage of education that we did have. We wish we’d chosen to study different field. Others very high on our list of regrets include career, romance, parenting, various decisions and choices about our sense of self, and how we spend our leisure time—or  more specifically, how we failed to spend our leisure time. The remaining regrets pertain to these things; finance, family issues unrelated to romance or parenting, health, friends, and community. Our financial decisions account less for our total regrets. So if you are confuse which one you buy, Samsung or iPhone product, let it go. Don’t stress much yourself. Odds are, you’re not going to care about it after few years.

For the things that we really care about and do experience profound regret around, what does the experience feel like? It feels terrible. Regret feels awful. But it turns out that regret feels awful in four very specific and consistent ways.

First is denial. When I went that time after getting that tattoo, I stayed up until late night. There’s exactly one thought in my mind—Make it go away, and I want my mom now! This is primitive emotional response. We’re not trying to solve the problem. We’re not trying to understand how the problem came about. We just want it to vanish right away.

The second characteristic is a sense of bewilderment. So the other thing that night that popped out in my mind was— What was I thinking? There is real sense of alienation from the part of us that made a decision we regret. We can’t identify with that part. We don’t understand that part. And we certainly don’t have empathy for that part—which explains the third component of regret, which is an intense desire to punish ourselves. That’s why in the face of our regret, the thing we can consistently say is ‘’I could’ve kicked myself then.’’ The fourth component is that regret is what we called perseveration. To perseverate means to focus obsessively and repeatedly on the same thing. Now the effect of perseveration is basically take these first three components of regrets and put them on infinite loop.  

 But there’s also a fifth one, and I think of this is a kind of existence wake-up call. I spent the rest of the night before I fall asleep with the thought of skin grafts or a laser. Then I thought about how my mom will cover for this act of idiocy. The whole point of acts of idiocy is that they leave you totally uninsured; they leave you exposed to the world and exposed to your own vulnerability and fallibility in face of a fairly indifferent universe.

 The intensity and persistence with which we experience these emotional components of regret is obviously going to vary depending on the specific thing that we’re feeling grateful about. Sometimes we do make decisions that have irrevocable and terrible consequences, either for our own or for other people.

 I think as individual we supposed to live with three things that will help us to make peace with regret. And the first of these is seeks comfort in its universality. Having tattoo is not a taboo in most society nowadays, besides at the first place when I have my tattoo it’s by my own will and choice. The second way is to laugh at ourselves. In my case, this wasn’t a problem, because it’s very easy to laugh at yourself when you’re 24 and you want your mum because you don’t like your new tattoo. All of us that experience regrets that contains pain and grief understand that humor and even black humor plays a role in helping us to survive. It connects the poles of our lives back together, and sent a little current of life back into us. The third way we can make our piece with regret is through the passage of time, which as we know time heals all wounds—except for tattoos, which are permanent.

So it’s been few years back since I’ve got my tattoo. It’s actually not that hideous. Some people when they see my tattoo, for the most part they find it simple on how it looks. But I don’t mind it because it’s not really they’re opinion that matter the most, it’s on what the story behind with the simple text tattoo in my wrist. I mean it!

 Some of our regrets in life are not as ugly as we think they are. I love this simple art written in my wrist because my mother means a world to me.

 It reminds me of constantly the most important lesson regret can teach us. If we have goals and dreams, and we want to do our best, and if we love people and we don’t want to hurt them, or lose them, we should feel pain when things go wrong. The point isn’t to live without any regrets, but not to hate ourselves for having them.

 The lesson that I ultimately learned from my tattoo is, We need to learn to love the flawed, imperfect things that we create and to forgive ourselves for creating them. Regret doesn’t remind us that we did badly. It reminds us that we can do better.

 

 


HAPPINESS IS ABOUT ….

PEOPLE DEFINE HAPPINESS

When a guy broke my heart somewhere in last quarter of 2013 my friends and I decided for a long ride going to South of Cebu to enjoy the white sand and the tempting crystal clear water. Long hour that occupied of silly talks and in between they let me cry, and handed me a drink. There I was, a heart broken but a smile and a good laugh with friends painted in my face, and it is something like hope rising in my heart.

Happiness is people— the friends who will weather any crisis with you, the camaraderie we share, and the moments that remind you that no matter what, you are never alone. Now that I am in my mid 20s, I see how incredibly important it is to have a strong support system of positive people you trust and who you know will be with you through the good and the ugly. The true secret is no secret; if you have good people, happiness will never escape you.

HAPPINESS IS THE ATTEMPT

That time I was striking and eager to stand by my own feet and manage my own financial concern. When I was in between jobs and figuring out what the heck I am going to do with my life, I started writing. I wrote the thing about my sentiments in life, the learning I gain in my journey until today, the things I wish I had figured out sooner, the process of transitioning adulthood—I am overwhelmed with the comments of strangers about my writings and somehow made a connection with them by replying their comments. I never had the courage before to let my words speak something in public. I didn’t believe in myself enough until I got to a point where I had nothing left to prove. What I found in that one little leap of faith is that trying new things adds to the joy of living. No endeavor offers surefire certainty, but the chance to do something that carries the weight of potential success is truly amazing. Happiness is the attempt—not the destination but all the steps it takes to get there. To try makes heroes out of us all. And there is no finer happiness than feeling like you’re even just little bit superhuman. And what I have learned from that is the happiness is showing the world what you’re made of. Perhaps, even more so, happiness is living a life you’re unbelievably proud of.


HAPPINESS IS APPRECIATING SMALL THINGS

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I just turned 24 this year. Sometimes I’m tempted to moan about this journey into adulthood. But then I see where the journey has taken me. As you get older, you find that it doesn’t take much to sow and reap joy.

I started my year out of the country and I consider it as a long break that is required for  myself to see a better version of me the next steps I will make. It’s my choice to grow up emotionally and lay the healing process to time.

Just one afternoon, I spent time with a new found friend in one shopping center to buy some baby’s stuffs, and talked about everything under the sun. There was no huge event, no surprises, no lavish plans, but there was good food, hot drinks and great company. I wished I had learned this earlier on in life that happiness is about appreciating the small things. The sooner you find the courage it takes to be grateful for even the smallest thing, there’s nowhere you can go that will even leave your spirit too dejected for long. I’ve found it helpful making a list of the things I am grateful for, be it the weather outside the window, my favorite song in my playlist, or even a smile of a stranger. In finding these small treasures in the everyday nuances of life, I’ve found a silver lining, things to always be inspired by or hopeful about. And that just about kicks my sadness in the butt.

I believe that sadness is a stems from a discontent. Dissatisfaction from life and the way things are going. But there is an infinite number of ways to change that. You are the hero of your own life and you can make the choice to be happy and to launch into the adventures that will catapult you into something beautiful. When we become part of better stories, we choose to involve ourselves in things that go beyond ourselves. We create connections, join chapters with other people. Happiness is giving back. By far, the best happiness we can get from life is the chance to make another person happy.

I’m not saying to be sad is wrong—sadness is a natural condition. I believe what is wrong is falling in love with your sadness. It’s too easy, it’s not healthy, and there is a far better life waiting for you beyond that heavy heart. Sadness costs. Happiness, on the other hand, is free and weighs as light as cotton. 

 

 


AMOUNT OF HAPPINESS

 

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Once in my life a tragic situation came in, it happened during my teenager era. That certain moment of my life taught me to embrace sadness and love it after my parent’s separated. That incident wounded me deeply and even leave a fresh scar that every now and then make me sad when I look back those days. I like sadness, even it comes to the point that I love being alone in everything and romanticizing the idea that it’s the only option left for me. Sadness validated my baggage; help me less care with people around me, my issues and drama. It made me feel safe and so I fell in love with it drunkenly bitter.

But since change is the only constant in this world, it strikes me. Things drastically change in college. I met bunch of people who show me what’s carefree life without sadness that wrap me, friends I gain that they’d do everything to yank the sadness out of my palms. These people showed me an alternative I had been missing out on for so long. We go out, celebrated small victories with circle of friends, and even few of them planted their own personal sunshine in my heart that make me often define as predictably happy. I realized that sadness is far too easy that I am much stronger.

Happiness was strange. It felt fragile and finite, like it could float from my grasp any time. Looking at life hindsight, happiness scared me. The fact that it could disappear so quickly made me miss the comfortable pain of sadness. At the same time happiness was so wonderful. It made my heart ridiculous and silly, and it took a little time for me to realize that this was the emotion I been seeking out in my whole existence.

When I graduated from college, diplomas in hand, degree as a pride, I secretly pondered if my happiness would travel miles away from me the way my friends inevitably would. But to my great surprise, it didn’t. Happiness remained until today.

What I didn’t learned that graduation day, as Mr. Sun bow his head to us newly graduates and the tears that flew down our faces signal the end of an era, was that the friends I found in college days had never given me happiness. They introduced it to me. They taught me how to find it when it seemed to be more elusive, and they showed me how to live it each day of my journey.

And the lessons always come in memories.

 


THE RISK

They say that every gambler has their hands down on the deck, prepared to give up anything and win everything.  A gambler is a lot like a woman in love, willing to bring all cards on the table to turn the stroke of luck on their side. Yet when it comes to matters of the heart, everything we have is nothing else but a bargaining chip that is used to bet against destiny and time. How far can we gamble what we have for a certain relationship in which we do not know what comes tomorrow? And are we ready to give up everything to turn the tables of destiny?
 

 

Most risk takers believe that chances only favors for those who are mentally prepared. However when we turn to the aspect of gambling our personal identities for a relationship, it has gone off the borderline of what is logical and irrational, making all our decisions and choices to be fragile or even worse, futile.  The shroud that clouds our rational thinking on everything has been one of our key weaknesses against time and destiny on the other side of the table. With our logical senses being dismembered, we turn to our feelings and intuitions to continue all along our gamble for our relationship.
 
Piece by piece, time collects its bounty from what we placed as a bet on the table. Our relationship has been permitted by time to continue, yet here we are struggling with bargaining chips barely left to spare to play along the game.  Nonetheless, we women are fine with it as long as we have been able to keep up and made what we think is better for our relationships. Yet when we see that we lose everything that we have for our relationship, we wake up and ask ourselves if how long we should keep this up.
 
 
We learn to compromise on things that we know can be sacrificed, yet we should always remember to invest to ourselves prior to give up anything. In the first place, we cannot give what we do not have and therefore, we should always put ourselves first before anything else. Time and destiny can be our greatest enemies at the table, but if we are prepping up with the necessities, we can surely beat them with a game called “The Gamble for Love”.

STRANGER-a FRIEND and SUDDENLY DISAPPEARED

YOU MEET SOMEONE.

YOU TWO GET CLOSE

IT’S ALL GREAT FOR AWHILE

THEN SOMEONE STOPS TRYING

TALK LESS. AWKWARD CONVERSATION

THE DRIFTING

NO COMMUNICATION WHATSOEVER

MEMORIES START TO FADE

THEN THAT PERSON YOU KNOW

BECOMES THAT PERSON YOU KNEW.

THAT’S HOW IT USUALLY GOES, RIGHT?

SAD ISN’T it?

There are things in life that we are not certain if we should let it go, leave it behind and move on..We are perfectly sure that’s the best thing to do..Easy to say yet too hard to do because no matter how best your surgeons are, the wound will still dehisence or worst,eviscerate..No matter how you break the chain of infection,still the agent are so strong and developed immunity to anti-biotic or any general nursing care you made..The pain will stay..That’s the reason it’s too hard to move on and get a life..It’s very destructing when you know the causative agent is still there,roaming around the world, having a life on it’s own and dominating..Infecting others..So sad,our immune system are slow to kill the pain..Good for them,their’s are strong.

MISSING late night talk with a person who was once a stranger then a friend 


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LOVE with TIME

I love that soft golden glow when the first sunrays hit the queen city of south—Cebu in the morning. People struggling their way through the dust and smoke, losing themselves in the city. People says as the city keeps growing there is no space left for love among the people, they just love their jobs, their offices, their university and their money.

Real love only find place in the pages of ancient books, or in a two hours glimpse on the big screen. Sometimes it happened in a coffee shop…. But no, love was definitely a labor lost.
That one morning I saw…it leaped out of a fairy, and it come to me. I don’t know their names all I knew for sure something they were both intensely in love. Every day at the same time they would come to that jeepny stop waiting area. Even in the crowd, they shone through— a blindingly white picture of pure love. Just like in a cheesy advertisement —I call them Mr. and Mrs. M. As the jeepny arrived Mrs. M touch Mr. M bag across his shoulders, and holding hands they’ll struggle aboard the jeepny. As the jeepny start its engine, Mr. M hold Mrs. M hand while she pull out a purple magic ball from her bag, and she start asking question to him and shake that magic ball for confirmation answer if it’s a ‘’YES, NO, or MAYBE’’. That laughter and smiles they have in their faces like they don’t care the other passengers. Blissful picture of a couple that own the world.
Days, weeks, months goes by that smile and laugh spread within the minutes they spend sitting in the jeepny while doing some thumb fight in between. Sometimes in a while its Mr. M who will ask her and shake that purple magic ball with happiness.
But…..It all change, there was no Mr. M, no Mrs. M— and no warm glooming smile.
Then one day ‘’I’’ caught a glimpse of Mrs. M alone in that jeepny stop. I manage to get in to the approaching jeepny with her, and had the chance to sit beside her. Wondering why she’s alone, suddenly I asked her without any second thought ‘’Where is that guy that used to be with you every morning?’’. Minutes of silence, and I feel annoyed or embarrass that she ignore me, but the silence broke with a low voice of her ‘’He’s gone, not with me anymore’’.

As it always the jeepny stopped at the terminal. So many people clambering to get on and off the jeepny. Some wanted to go to the next stop and some just to get off sooner. Just like those people we met in life, some will walk with us a li’l longer, few will stay with us until the end and others will stop after a few steps.

What exactly happened was she’s so stubborn, she choose to find herself, to love herself a little bit more and see the world without being dependent and pampered by him. She needs time, but she didn’t realize that she’s asking too much, that it caused pain to him in some ways. He left for good.

Since the day he left, Mrs. M knew and feel the presence of that ‘’love’’ of old books outside the pages of a long forgotten stories. It was there, in all their efforts to spend just that few minutes together every day in a simple way that always great thing to remember and keep by heart.


MAN of my LIFE (forever)

It’s a holiday. Nothing to do and it’s a lazy day at home for me. I’m feeling bored doing nothing and alone in these 4 corners in my room. Suddenly I thought of updating my mobile apps as well as cleaning my laptop, deleting some nonsense and useless files that are just memory consumption that cause my device to work slow and pissed me off.

So here I am scanning, browsing and found some old hidden files. Whammo! The oldest files are about 4 years old if my memory is good enough to retain things. Photograph of yesterday. I want to save it but a part of me is telling ‘’What for’’. So without a second thought I press CTRL DEL and YES.

And then I came across to other folders, an important documents popped. And in my surprise I saw his picture with me when I was just about 2 years old, a man with mustache, a good shape nose and with big brown eyes. He is holding my hands while he is standing in my back and the picture look like he is walking behind me to watch my steps as I am learning to walk at that age. That man is my father.

I am his everything, a gem that he never want to lose and the product of his story once upon a time in his young age. Some may think or see me as my father mistake but he never accepted nor thinks that way. He never failed to let me feel that I am one of the bravest choices he made in life.

That moment when he knows he’s going to have his first born (me) I know t’was a formidable time for him as I came on the stage of his life when he just started his career but despite of that he always tell me that I am the best thing that happened to him despite of the path he choose.

Since the day the he first held my little finger, looking straight in my eyes and that day I first smiled at him—it was the day he keep telling himself that I belong to him, that I am his precious treasure. That it was his blood that runs in my veins. On that day onward I made him a father, making him a responsible man to me.

He is there to help me throughout my balance in life; he always wants to catch me before I fall, picks me up, brushes me off and let me try again. He don’t miss to scold me many time if I break the rules but he is also the one who proudly shines even with the smallest achievement I’ve got. He wants to keep me making mistake but instead he let me find my own way even though his heart breaks in silence when I am hurt.

Thanks to him for shaping my life and teach me as much as he can, for taking the time, for showing me the way, for being there when I need him, for every single day, for showing me what is good from bad and for helping me building my dream come true.He is no ordinary man; he make me everything I am. I am pretty bliss being blessed being his daughter.

I love him not because of what he has but it because of what my father made me.

Dada you always tell me that story when I was in my teen-stage that one day that prince will find me and take me away from your kingdom. But I like to tell you now that no matter what happen, may that prince will bring me to his castle and we’ll have our own kingdom, it will never and won’t change the fact that you’re my hero, my bravest man, my soldier, my first love and my man forever.

 

 

 


I WOULDN’t Mind

Merrily we fall out of line I’d fall anywhere with him
I’m by his side                                                                                                                     Carefully we’ll place our destiny
he came and he took this heart, and set it free
Every word he write or sing is so warm to me, so warm to me
I’m torn to be right where he is                                    

Forever is a long time
But I wouldn’t mind spending it by his side
Tell me every day I get to wake up to that smile

I’m not afraid anymore


It just feel good to REMINISCE

It’s nice to rekindle some past experiences especially if those are interesting and fun. So here I am today sharing what I feel inside through words that I can’t bravely admit to my friends.

Well let’s all have a tour to some of those moments in my life started when I was 18 years old.

Spending a life in a strange metro by myself since I started my college make me feel proud practicing the sense of being independent at the age of 17—yes I was 17 when I arrived in the city and start the journey of my study that will led me to a career after some years.

But after few months I turned 18, legal age and can start taking the benefits out of minority. But never came across in my mind that it will be the start of ‘nostalgic’ moments that until now I have to bring with me.

I had the ‘one’, the first in everything. Things happened too fast in the relationship that we can say those days it was really in the deep part. Things feel alright and we planned to take the next step after being 2 years together. Were totally open in both sides(family).

I realized that when were not in love we live in our own rules but the moment we fall in love and let him into your heart then you’ll start to live life considering his rules. You’ve to give up something and controlled your life for him. Love really changes people too much until sometimes there’s nothing left to the person you used to be. He will try to change you when he should just accept you for who you are. I changed a lot from a couch potato college girl to a woman who cares the house chores and some other things that I used to neglect before. I did it not 100% by my own will, it’s because of him who taught me things not just emotionally but life in general.

I used to just dropped my dirty clothes to laundry shop, I love eating outside, I hate cleaning my room every now and then and I am happy just reading books and watching movies alone until I knew him—he made me realized that things is always better when you shared it with someone special and do things together. That’s the thing happened way back then.

PRESENT: I been just at home lately for almost 2 months, I quit my job for some reasons and weird thing happened is I found myself doing the things and going to places we used to go. It’s been almost a year since that story ended, years having him are one of the best chapters I have in life. It seems life we can actually go back to the past yet we can’t have the complete details of it. Lately I am bravely facing reality that things is ‘mine, me and I’, no ‘us, we, and together’.

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Yes, I did this things recently alone– No him. 

I learnt that whatever happened in my past made me stronger and wiser. Bad experiences are equally important to the good ones. If the past is painful it doesn’t mean that it will hold my future (as if it will also be painful).

 


Life REAL-GEM

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At my younger age I did not see that having siblings is awesome. Those days I live a life being the only one that is given the full attention.

Whenever I thought weekend, I hate it because of the reason that its family day—siblings day for me. I find them as my rival and great competitor in everything in my so called kingdom. I have with in me that I am the princess, and in my castle I don’t welcome those people who are potentially a threat to me.

But time never failed to make me realize that I have the precious gift since the day they make me their ‘DIDI and ATE’. They’re my life gem. Now that we all grown-ups and have our own choices of life to take, it make me look back of those young days we spent together and start missing those wonderful days.

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A life with bhai– though we don’t share a bed time story book and play much when we were kids but the closeness we have inside is not limited like the time we spent together in childhood.  There were times that I felt like I am not dad princess because he exist but he always make me see the bright side on it. You save me to dad’s keen-eye every time I am in trouble. You never failed to defend me until now. When were in our teen life, we less talk with each other but we keep secrets together. Whenever you’re into an emotional confusion to someone, you always seek my opinion. The moment I start dating, you are the first one who knew and met that guy.

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A journey having one little sister is challenging but fun. I hate it the most when you share my room and played with my toys—but what to do, you are my younger sister and the ‘baby’ in the family those days. You even make me jealous when everyone in the house find you cute and adorable because it was me who deserve the compliments until the day you arrive in our lives. That little kid presence that given everyone a smile after a long day from work that make me felt I am not needed in the family—but those were the days. Going to college and spent days with our own friends make us realize that were best friends inside, that no one else can take care and love us the way we have for each other. That late night girls talk in our room and the giddy-goody stuffs discussion.

Today’s life is very busy but I remember the old days of childish fight, when we used to have silly arguments. We have lost some of the time but the golden memory will always be with us. The time comes that we’ll start to have our own so called family but it won’t and can’t change the fact that we our siblings and we are family. We do care, love and pissed off each other yet we can’t afford to lose one another. Were always partner in crime.

We may have different way of seeing life and career but it doesn’t stop the chance making me a PROUD DIDI to bro and a PROUD ATE to sissy in every single day of my journey. 


STRANGER

 

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It’s something unusual for a person like me. Yes, it is! It happened too fast that I even forget to take a breath.

It was a day spent just at home doing the usual routine, browsing the internet, watching some documentary shows in tv, preparing my food in between and exchanging sms with friends.

I have my mobile as if it’s life support for me, been using it for quite sometimes and believe it or not I use it for exchanging sms and talking to friends and family, other than that I only installed one game and two commu-apps (viber&whatsapp). I wasn’t born yesterday, it just that I don’t like putting things in my mobile that I don’t usually use or necessary until that day— I installed a kind of apps where stranger come to know each other in a matter of seconds.

 

I was updating something in my mobile and that certain apps pop-up in screen, it doesn’t ring a bell with me but it ignited my curiosity and it reached to peak point that I have to just download and installed it. The next thing is I exchanged messages to unknown people and killed my time with them. Few minutes talking with them I felt bored but when I’m about to sign out, here is this one person that caught my attention by name— not the name that I usually hear in my life, it’s something unique that made me to distract that person attention by a msg. He is a stranger, not just a plain stranger but also a snob one. I came to his profile and its very limited, even he have pictures but not also that clear—so I was thinking what’s with this stranger that I have to send to messages and it took a while for a reply.

 

So, here’s what happened—that moment he replied with me, I took the chance to start talking with him and bring up some questions to have conversation, and I succeed.  That first conversation took for more than an hour. In the long run it feels like a routine to talk with him until we exchanged numbers and go back in an old fashioned way—the txting. But sms doesn’t satisfy me so I had to add him in my other commu-apps. Every time we have the chance to talk, we grabbed it (I grabbed it without any second thought). We do exchange pictures, sleepy, tipsy and lazy pics even.

 

And here’s the catch, she feel giddy, good, happy and laugh a lot with every conversation.

She even had a late night coffee to hold her sleepy head just to talk with him. lol

She even did the research what his catchy name means—and she found out this in the list

 

  • His first name of ….  make him extremely generous.
     
  • He has a bubbling, spontaneous nature and a happy-go-lucky outlook which helps smooth the pathway of life.
     
  • Also he is sympathetic to the needs of others.
     
  • Interested in art, music, singing, dancing, and anything of an artistic nature, he could become a very fine performer.
     
  • He is spontaneous expression stands him in good stead during arguments or debates, though he is perhaps too outspoken and inclined to sarcasm.
     
  • A very real weakness of this name is lack of system and order.
     
  • The use of this name makes it extremely difficult to carry through and finish the things he starts.
     
  • It is easy to make promises in an effort to make others happy, although not so easy to keep them.
     
  • He spends his money recklessly, seldom reckoning whether he can afford to be so generous.

And he’s real name means he is POLITE and HUMBLE. 


what if’s in my mind

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There are things that only time can teach you

Like how much you love a person. Often, you realize how much you’ve loved only when you’ve lost that person. And when you lost that person, you lose a part of yourself too.

You keep hoping that the time comes….you can earn back what you’ve lost and if things won’t go back to how they were—you just keep hoping that time will change everything.

But how come time doesn’t change heart? Even when everything has ended you keep coming back from the beginning and you keep asking yourself ‘’What if I love him more? What if I didn’t fall in love? What if I never met him so I can erase him in my memory? What if when we met were different person, in a different situation, different place, a different time is destiny going to change as well? Am I the one holding his hand? Does his heart shout my name? Am I the one beside him? The one he’s hugging? Am I the reason for his smile? Or am I the reason why he choose to love someone else?

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LIFE CHANGES RELATIONSHIP—SO DOES TIME

 

We are dealing with the so called journey of life. Every single day that God given to us, we are bless to start the day with the routine waking up in the morning and look forward how to spend the day, some occupied 8-10 hours working, other filled their day at school learning academic things, and certain people passed just at home, but whatever make our day it doesn’t matter as we all look forward to call it a day to just go home and relax.

As a part of the whole journey we encountered people with different outlook in life. We may meet strangers that we never expect to play particular roles in our lives. Those may be who we start connection with. It might be a good or bad relationship but it doesn’t fail to leave a lesson to absorb.

Most likely we tend to build a relationship with the basis that we like what we see in that person, we entrust, respect and feel comfortable. But we can’t deny the fact that maintaining a relationship is hard thing to do, it’s very impossible to handle something perfectly like on how it started until the passage of time.

Life changes relationship and so doe’s time. Because of that different priority, being busy and less time availability driven changes in our relationship. Life is always a result of the choices we make, a single decision may result a significant changes.

Change is a shadow of time in a relationship. As time goes by formality in some relationship is vanish, we go beyond the limit and borders of the relationship because of our confidence. We sometimes neglect the importance of relationship, and we forget to appreciate it.

 


SOULMATE

There’s no coincidence, thing happens with a purpose and reason, little as it maybe. If you bump a total stranger in a middle of a busy street, it’s not an accident. The purpose might be to divert his/her attention to each other.

Feeling sometimes can be complicated and confusing but everyone dreamed of love and to be love. Love is wonderful and falling in love is amazing thing that happened in someone’s life. You don’t rush headlong into love with your eyes wide shut, it takes time to know and confirm yourself about the feeling you have inside towards someone.

Does soul mate sounds familiar to you? Well, who doesn’t? Each one of us believes that we have our own soul mate. The only way to find it is to open your heart and let someone came in. You’ll meet that one person that make you feel as if you’ve known him/her over the centuries even though you just met.  That entwined the emotions of he has waited to find you as you have waited for him. There will be that tender feeling s in the first moments of greeting. That you are not blinded by love, your eyes is fully open with the possibilities of having a life with that person.

French people call it un coup de foudre (a bolt of lightning), some preferred to call it love at first sight, and that’s what we believe that the meeting of two-souls that is meant to be, that’s SOULMATES. There’s always that one missing part of your puzzle that exactly fit in to make the puzzle complete.  Sometimes we think that our life is complete already but only to find out when that one person came in to the picture— everything goes smoothly and feel great. Then one day we woke up that person make us complete and define happiness.

Luck doesn’t favor to everyone to find their soul mates. Some settle to someone they think they can get along together and consider it as their soul mates, and make effort to live happily with the partner they choose. I always think that we can connect our time with others, but our heart and mind longed for the person who completes us.


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Seven billion people living on earth, do you think I have the ‘one’ for me? The world is too big, crowded and hard to find that someone for me. But I still like to cling with the idea that each and every one of us has the ‘one’ that totally fit as the missing piece of our puzzle.

Despite of the facts that most of the good ones are taken; there are some people who have serious psychological issues, few weirdoes, the bastards and the guys in fashions I am working to find my magic man.  Where is the one?  Hmp! I am thinking of making a checklist for myself.

Here’s the list:

1.       A man with accent. The one who comes with brand

2.       Girls like flowers, who doesn’t? The one who love sending flowers

3.       Whom who love planning things even the smallest details

4.       Travel to exotic locations on a whim

5.       He should be a man instead of being a guy

6.       Can talk anything with sense and man who wear glasses

This is just a few things in my list, there are some to mention but I only pick those highlighted things. In my everyday life I met some potential magic man but most of them are far from what I have in list. Exchanging hi and hello that led to casual talks. There are few acquaintances that end up sitting and pampering our taste buds in good restaurant in the metro. Catching up with some for a cup of coffee that is sort of a date, but none of those meetings make me say and think that I found my magic man.

What really happened may not a happy ending but love doesn’t happen to me, I build my hopes on an intricate of day dreams. The fact is that everyone has issues and maybe constructing up a fake perfect man in my mind was my biggest issue of all. I’ve been walking around with the ghost of my magic man. He’s been haunting me, keeping me from a world of opportunities that were right in front of me, putting a wall for myself that block the good person to take place in me. And I am awake now with the reality that there’s no such thing as perfection. Love is for people who are realistic and smart enough to open up their heart and minds and to realize that a real relationship is the ultimate fantasy.

 I’ve shaken off the shadow of my ideal perfect magic man, and starting finding myself.

And whammo! I have this man with me, the one who care and love me that I appreciate the most. One thing is growing between the relationship with me and him is love.


BITTERSWEET SENTIMENTS

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There are times that I ponder things about life and I always end up in the conclusion that life is about learning and growing. No one exists as perfect because nobody is. We tend to commit mistake along the journey of life. Most of us hit the books from our own experience, some learn from others.

In most cases some of us do not learn from his/her mistakes unless the consequences and reality slapped us in face. Middle-of-the-road scenarios we keep complaining things why we need to deal with circumstances more than once yet we cling on doing the same mistakes. Instead of wasting our energy in complaining why don’t we try to exert effort to take action and change what’s bothering us.

Things that I wished I learned before:

I should put myself first not that others. Sounds selfish and self-centered but I rather to think this way instead of giving a chance to those people who’ll take advantage of me. Besides I believe the old cliché ‘’love yourself before you can love others’’.

Being me is a good idea. I should stand proudly in the crowd being myself.  There’s no wrong in adapting if it’s necessary but not to the extent that I have to forget myself for whom I am by pleasing others.

I should not be afraid to fail. Failure is something not to be afraid of. If I don’t experience failure then how can I identify its success I am enjoying now? If I don’t fail, then I’m playing safe, myself is being complacent, and the lack of failure is failure in itself. Following your dream is worth to take the risk but we should know to calculate the limit of the risk that we’ll take.

Examine the glass if it’s half empty or a half full. Whatever way you look at, it is how it is. In every situation it can be seen in two different ways, it’s either you’ll look at it in positive or negative side.

There is no such thing as free. We heard not just once about the free education, free lunch and free medical treatments—they are just said to fancy us, it’s a trick. They don’t come for free as there is always something that attached to it.

Easy success doesn’t exist. To get your success you’ve to prepare yourself for a lot of hard work in creating your success.

Forget the fairytale happily ever after ending. Reality shows that it’s not everything have a happy finale. In life you can meet accident in a sudden, you’ll lose money and even you’ll lose the one you love the most in a blink of your eyes. But don’t let this things hold you to keep going. Life consist two-important words, GO ON!

There’s always someone better than you in everything and when situation doesn’t favor you, think that there’s always a better next time.

Evaluate and be cautious with your ego—because it is sometimes a downfall. Ego is a nasty thing. It may allow the little arrogance and over confidence within us to grow and will led to stupidity.

I should not play safe in my life instead I need to play like I am not losing something, just struggling to win. I should work everything in smart way with a collaboration of hardship.


LOVING from the DISTANCE

What is long distance relationship or commonly heard and known as LDR? By the word itself we can define it, and yes like others I can say that LDR is a commitment of two persons that is bind with love to each other despites of the miles that separate them physically yet they are still emotionally connected to one another.

In this era, being in a long distance relationship is not new to us; it is not just yesterday words that people talk about. In every corner, we heard different stories— some are dealing with the circumstances being a part to one another for the reason that the partner need to pursue career, other keep struggling to maintain the spark of being away with their love ones because they’re building a long distance relationship and just waiting for the moment to be together in some ways.

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This famous quotes inspired me about long distance relationship, ‘’it doesn’t matter if where you are, if you’ve found love, DISTANCE doesn’t matter. Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for memories span the miles and in seconds that we are far.’’ In love loving doesn’t see any boundaries.

Certain things that help in dealing long distance relationship, of course in every form of relationship either its LDR or you are in same comfort zone, TRUST is important. You have to trust your partner, don’t let DOUBT take in. Relationship must build on UNDERSTANDING and DETERMINATION to make it work. Be OPEN to each other, be HONEST and SET PARAMETER of the relationship; make sure that you two are clear on what you have.

You can do these things in the long run of the relationship, DATING ON SKYPE video call, ECHANGING SMS and EMAIL everyday as often as possible. Getting touch with one another is important, keeping posted to each other whereabouts and whatabouts. DO THINGS TOGETHER like watching movies simultaneously and talk about the movie after. PURSUE COMMON INTEREST even doing it apart takes time in each other kitchen and explores new recipes to talk afterwards and be a taste buddies when you’ll catch up. TALK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE TOGETHER; make oneself a part of the planning. VISIT OFTENLY aside from the busy time you have at work, catching up each other as often as you can, as your budgets permit you to. Relationship cannot bloom if the only thing you have is the online communication to see each other, you need to cuddle each other close in every chance you get. And lastly BE POSITIVE and don’t focus on the negative aspect of a long distance relationship. It’s essential keeping your relationship grows even you’re not physically together.


moments

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Every little moment leading up to the one that is fated for you, somehow molds you for that person destined to be with you. Any of those crestfallen moments, dark days or solitary nights can be vitally essential in the grand scheme of things— there are times that we need to feel or slapped by a certain situation with wrong things for us to know when thing is right.

Behind any success moments is a remarkable failures and commitments that leads to marriage has experienced being in a dysfunctional relationship that once crashed a loving heart yet choose to believe that you’ve to learn to listen what your heart says, learned if you never make room for a better things and ways to be, if you never clear out things in life that stand the way your happiness, then you are not aligning your universe allowing wonderful things to happen.

In this life it’s not all about finding yourself; it’s about creating oneself and making a certain moment with your best shot. And the same goes in love, you don’t have to find love and chase for it. You build road for love to travel and wait for it to come. 


PIQUANT Makes Life…. FASCINATING

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Imagine a food without a flavor every day; do you think it will be delicious and tempting to our taste bud? For me it’s a NO.  I can’t even envision a life without any color, without capricious that make the excitement in every phases. There are times that we are in to life and limb situation, it sounds critical for us to decide yet we have to remember that it’s the best way to bring something to life.

I was once told by a one of a kind man that in human existence we SHOULD NOT  focus on one side because life itself composed of opposite things, even they are totally different they make use from one another, and we both get the benefits from each side. A perfect example is the UP’s and DOWN we encountered in our journey, they are totally opposite, isn’t it? Yet it helps us to differentiate each other, without the UP’s we’ll never know what is DOWN and vice versa. So, treasure every little things you have either you like it or not.

He shared to me that in our lives we met bunch of people from childhood days, college life, work place and even others who across in your path surprisingly. Uncountable acquaintances in any circumstances, many have left, some still exist and perhaps there are only few that will stay with us for goods and keep the core of relationship.

I am pondering that for those who had come into my life and left they are those characters that their part in my story is over. Either they became a part of me for a reason or for a season. And one thing is clear—those people leave us a lesson to learn in some ways.

However, it’s not the days, weeks, months or years of interaction which decides if someone is for lifetime. But what matter is, dancing with the right music differentiate someone for the rest. Yes, it could be the same race, same coincidence but it doesn’t guarantee that people are same. Let’s face the reality that our five fingers are not in equal therefore in mankind we are different from each other.


Aside

PRESENT, at this moment and TODAY

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In life there’s no such thing as play back when we want to correct what happened in the past—

Past should be left behind, we cannot do something to change the past but we can definitely do something in the present and future. We can’t even do fast forward in life if we want to escape something that we don’t want to occur, all we have to do is to avoid and be cautious in every phase life has to offer.

Sailing the journey of so called life—we have to appreciate even the smallest thing that it offers us, even we have to learn to smile after the pain that we encountered, failures that take place to us and what important is we have to learn from what happened and always take things in positive ways. Things always happened for a reason, that reason might vague for now but for sure ‘one day’ we’ll understand that certain reason.

I can consider myself that within the couple years of my existence I am old enough to learn and see what life is. After all this years—I can certainly say that what always matter is THE CHOICE we have. My choices will always the definition of myself and my life. My choice will lead me to my destiny.

The chances I grabbed in my journey and the decisions I made in that moment matters until now because it brought me to where I am, who I am and what I am today—it result as the complete package of me.

At first I am hesitant to accept the fact that despite of the what if, if only and but’s  in mind,  I should be thankful for what happened from the past—the bright and dark side of yesterday.

Yes like others, we fell down in the ground and get some bruises the time  were learning to walk and it doesn’t stop us  to get up and go for another steps—and now we get the price, our  knees and feet are strong enough to run. We been engulf in darkness, worn drown and scarred emotionally but instead of taking it in negative way, we choose to take it in positive side and while struggling on coping things—we make it a good lesson to learn, and today, at this moment we our brave and smart to deal things.

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The sorrows from the past steered of the blissful present. The despair from before brings a new hope at this moment.  The failure of yesterday contributes the success of today. NOW  matter the most in life.


FIRST CUT is the DEEPEST

There’s always a story in each and every wounds that leave a scars.

Scar that remind us some of the things that we want to forget. There are wounds that is best heal by time, just trust the time after doing something that it will be okay on its perfect time.

We been there and done that— our young-innocent heart once wounded and left by a mark, a big scar that sometimes make us weak to see the reality after what happened. But by the passage of time, we came out with the realization that its best heal by time. The pain is slowly gone until the time that we can bravely stand and talk about it. We can’t change the things that happened but we can always make it a baseline to avoid things to happen again. Feelings change but memories don’t.

First cut is the deepest, first heartbreak may leave a deep cut. Sometimes it is the reason why we fear to fall in love because of the thought that it might happen again. A new heartbreak, another wound and scar to heal, another pain to deal and another moving on process that usually takes time.

Love is the best gift God gave to humankind and He is continually giving to us. Loving makes the world go round; it is the music that everyone likes to dance with regardless of age. Everyone experienced different story of being hurt and wounded, but if there’s some who haven’t experienced it—lucky that person. Heartbreak should not the reason for us to give our best in loving and to stop believing in love. In life it’s the ability to GIVE, RECEIVE and even lost love. What a waste in life if we don’t love. Remember that when you been through from heartbreak, it will take time for you to welcome yourself in the next commitment because you’re extra careful choosing the next person to share the emotions. And you don’t have to end up in the same heartbreak that you passed through.

Either its bad or good things that happened, we have to take it as a lesson to learn.                        Experience is the best teacher. A heart break will mold you to be stronger person that you can, it will help you smart and mature enough to deal love. And one day we’ll find ourselves laughing at it and reminiscing how naïve we were before.


WHAT is LOVE?

What is love? that’s the question I keep in mind everyday – I even asked my parents about it and the two of them agreed with each other answer, LOVE is when you care someone, you try your best to prioritized that someone happiness over yourself. But I guess love is best defined when you yourself experienced it. You’ll know what love is when you are in love.

 

And when you think about it, most love stories start that way. Every moment leading up to the one in which you will love somehow shapes you and prepares you for that person you were fated for. Any previous heartbreaks or dark days or lonely nights can be crucially important in the grand scheme of things—sometimes we need to know what something feels like when it’s wrong before we can ever really know it when another thing is RIGHT.

I been there and done that – failed relationship in love. In my case, love change me the way I think, the way I decide and sometimes I go against my principles and beliefs in life. Loving doesn’t guarantee that I’ll be happy always; there are times that it provides me pain and misery. Yet, I was blinded by strong emotions that I failed to see reality. Those days the answer was letting go, it hurts like hell but I realized that it’s better to see myself to be happy and grow with someone who deserves.

Things that I’ve learned from falling in love— that is to stand up no matter how painful the cuts, to fight for what I believe in, and to wait …because even if I think now is the right time to give extra effort, waiting is even more worth it. When you love, never stick to what your heart feels. Sometimes using your brain is necessity. Never use your eyes to cry over and over for the person who hurt you instead use it to search for the better one. Don’t be afraid of breaking up, there’s no use staying in a dysfunctional relationship. Give chance to the one who love you and willing to establish mature relationship with you. The one that will fight for you and stand in each and every consequence you’ll face.