Feelings change – memories don't.

Archive for December, 2012


Seven billion people living on earth, do you think I have the ‘one’ for me? The world is too big, crowded and hard to find that someone for me. But I still like to cling with the idea that each and every one of us has the ‘one’ that totally fit as the missing piece of our puzzle.

Despite of the facts that most of the good ones are taken; there are some people who have serious psychological issues, few weirdoes, the bastards and the guys in fashions I am working to find my magic man.  Where is the one?  Hmp! I am thinking of making a checklist for myself.

Here’s the list:

1.       A man with accent. The one who comes with brand

2.       Girls like flowers, who doesn’t? The one who love sending flowers

3.       Whom who love planning things even the smallest details

4.       Travel to exotic locations on a whim

5.       He should be a man instead of being a guy

6.       Can talk anything with sense and man who wear glasses

This is just a few things in my list, there are some to mention but I only pick those highlighted things. In my everyday life I met some potential magic man but most of them are far from what I have in list. Exchanging hi and hello that led to casual talks. There are few acquaintances that end up sitting and pampering our taste buds in good restaurant in the metro. Catching up with some for a cup of coffee that is sort of a date, but none of those meetings make me say and think that I found my magic man.

What really happened may not a happy ending but love doesn’t happen to me, I build my hopes on an intricate of day dreams. The fact is that everyone has issues and maybe constructing up a fake perfect man in my mind was my biggest issue of all. I’ve been walking around with the ghost of my magic man. He’s been haunting me, keeping me from a world of opportunities that were right in front of me, putting a wall for myself that block the good person to take place in me. And I am awake now with the reality that there’s no such thing as perfection. Love is for people who are realistic and smart enough to open up their heart and minds and to realize that a real relationship is the ultimate fantasy.

 I’ve shaken off the shadow of my ideal perfect magic man, and starting finding myself.

And whammo! I have this man with me, the one who care and love me that I appreciate the most. One thing is growing between the relationship with me and him is love.



There are times that I ponder things about life and I always end up in the conclusion that life is about learning and growing. No one exists as perfect because nobody is. We tend to commit mistake along the journey of life. Most of us hit the books from our own experience, some learn from others.

In most cases some of us do not learn from his/her mistakes unless the consequences and reality slapped us in face. Middle-of-the-road scenarios we keep complaining things why we need to deal with circumstances more than once yet we cling on doing the same mistakes. Instead of wasting our energy in complaining why don’t we try to exert effort to take action and change what’s bothering us.

Things that I wished I learned before:

I should put myself first not that others. Sounds selfish and self-centered but I rather to think this way instead of giving a chance to those people who’ll take advantage of me. Besides I believe the old cliché ‘’love yourself before you can love others’’.

Being me is a good idea. I should stand proudly in the crowd being myself.  There’s no wrong in adapting if it’s necessary but not to the extent that I have to forget myself for whom I am by pleasing others.

I should not be afraid to fail. Failure is something not to be afraid of. If I don’t experience failure then how can I identify its success I am enjoying now? If I don’t fail, then I’m playing safe, myself is being complacent, and the lack of failure is failure in itself. Following your dream is worth to take the risk but we should know to calculate the limit of the risk that we’ll take.

Examine the glass if it’s half empty or a half full. Whatever way you look at, it is how it is. In every situation it can be seen in two different ways, it’s either you’ll look at it in positive or negative side.

There is no such thing as free. We heard not just once about the free education, free lunch and free medical treatments—they are just said to fancy us, it’s a trick. They don’t come for free as there is always something that attached to it.

Easy success doesn’t exist. To get your success you’ve to prepare yourself for a lot of hard work in creating your success.

Forget the fairytale happily ever after ending. Reality shows that it’s not everything have a happy finale. In life you can meet accident in a sudden, you’ll lose money and even you’ll lose the one you love the most in a blink of your eyes. But don’t let this things hold you to keep going. Life consist two-important words, GO ON!

There’s always someone better than you in everything and when situation doesn’t favor you, think that there’s always a better next time.

Evaluate and be cautious with your ego—because it is sometimes a downfall. Ego is a nasty thing. It may allow the little arrogance and over confidence within us to grow and will led to stupidity.

I should not play safe in my life instead I need to play like I am not losing something, just struggling to win. I should work everything in smart way with a collaboration of hardship.


What is long distance relationship or commonly heard and known as LDR? By the word itself we can define it, and yes like others I can say that LDR is a commitment of two persons that is bind with love to each other despites of the miles that separate them physically yet they are still emotionally connected to one another.

In this era, being in a long distance relationship is not new to us; it is not just yesterday words that people talk about. In every corner, we heard different stories— some are dealing with the circumstances being a part to one another for the reason that the partner need to pursue career, other keep struggling to maintain the spark of being away with their love ones because they’re building a long distance relationship and just waiting for the moment to be together in some ways.


This famous quotes inspired me about long distance relationship, ‘’it doesn’t matter if where you are, if you’ve found love, DISTANCE doesn’t matter. Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for memories span the miles and in seconds that we are far.’’ In love loving doesn’t see any boundaries.

Certain things that help in dealing long distance relationship, of course in every form of relationship either its LDR or you are in same comfort zone, TRUST is important. You have to trust your partner, don’t let DOUBT take in. Relationship must build on UNDERSTANDING and DETERMINATION to make it work. Be OPEN to each other, be HONEST and SET PARAMETER of the relationship; make sure that you two are clear on what you have.

You can do these things in the long run of the relationship, DATING ON SKYPE video call, ECHANGING SMS and EMAIL everyday as often as possible. Getting touch with one another is important, keeping posted to each other whereabouts and whatabouts. DO THINGS TOGETHER like watching movies simultaneously and talk about the movie after. PURSUE COMMON INTEREST even doing it apart takes time in each other kitchen and explores new recipes to talk afterwards and be a taste buddies when you’ll catch up. TALK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE TOGETHER; make oneself a part of the planning. VISIT OFTENLY aside from the busy time you have at work, catching up each other as often as you can, as your budgets permit you to. Relationship cannot bloom if the only thing you have is the online communication to see each other, you need to cuddle each other close in every chance you get. And lastly BE POSITIVE and don’t focus on the negative aspect of a long distance relationship. It’s essential keeping your relationship grows even you’re not physically together.



Every little moment leading up to the one that is fated for you, somehow molds you for that person destined to be with you. Any of those crestfallen moments, dark days or solitary nights can be vitally essential in the grand scheme of things— there are times that we need to feel or slapped by a certain situation with wrong things for us to know when thing is right.

Behind any success moments is a remarkable failures and commitments that leads to marriage has experienced being in a dysfunctional relationship that once crashed a loving heart yet choose to believe that you’ve to learn to listen what your heart says, learned if you never make room for a better things and ways to be, if you never clear out things in life that stand the way your happiness, then you are not aligning your universe allowing wonderful things to happen.

In this life it’s not all about finding yourself; it’s about creating oneself and making a certain moment with your best shot. And the same goes in love, you don’t have to find love and chase for it. You build road for love to travel and wait for it to come. 



Imagine a food without a flavor every day; do you think it will be delicious and tempting to our taste bud? For me it’s a NO.  I can’t even envision a life without any color, without capricious that make the excitement in every phases. There are times that we are in to life and limb situation, it sounds critical for us to decide yet we have to remember that it’s the best way to bring something to life.

I was once told by a one of a kind man that in human existence we SHOULD NOT  focus on one side because life itself composed of opposite things, even they are totally different they make use from one another, and we both get the benefits from each side. A perfect example is the UP’s and DOWN we encountered in our journey, they are totally opposite, isn’t it? Yet it helps us to differentiate each other, without the UP’s we’ll never know what is DOWN and vice versa. So, treasure every little things you have either you like it or not.

He shared to me that in our lives we met bunch of people from childhood days, college life, work place and even others who across in your path surprisingly. Uncountable acquaintances in any circumstances, many have left, some still exist and perhaps there are only few that will stay with us for goods and keep the core of relationship.

I am pondering that for those who had come into my life and left they are those characters that their part in my story is over. Either they became a part of me for a reason or for a season. And one thing is clear—those people leave us a lesson to learn in some ways.

However, it’s not the days, weeks, months or years of interaction which decides if someone is for lifetime. But what matter is, dancing with the right music differentiate someone for the rest. Yes, it could be the same race, same coincidence but it doesn’t guarantee that people are same. Let’s face the reality that our five fingers are not in equal therefore in mankind we are different from each other.


PRESENT, at this moment and TODAY


In life there’s no such thing as play back when we want to correct what happened in the past—

Past should be left behind, we cannot do something to change the past but we can definitely do something in the present and future. We can’t even do fast forward in life if we want to escape something that we don’t want to occur, all we have to do is to avoid and be cautious in every phase life has to offer.

Sailing the journey of so called life—we have to appreciate even the smallest thing that it offers us, even we have to learn to smile after the pain that we encountered, failures that take place to us and what important is we have to learn from what happened and always take things in positive ways. Things always happened for a reason, that reason might vague for now but for sure ‘one day’ we’ll understand that certain reason.

I can consider myself that within the couple years of my existence I am old enough to learn and see what life is. After all this years—I can certainly say that what always matter is THE CHOICE we have. My choices will always the definition of myself and my life. My choice will lead me to my destiny.

The chances I grabbed in my journey and the decisions I made in that moment matters until now because it brought me to where I am, who I am and what I am today—it result as the complete package of me.

At first I am hesitant to accept the fact that despite of the what if, if only and but’s  in mind,  I should be thankful for what happened from the past—the bright and dark side of yesterday.

Yes like others, we fell down in the ground and get some bruises the time  were learning to walk and it doesn’t stop us  to get up and go for another steps—and now we get the price, our  knees and feet are strong enough to run. We been engulf in darkness, worn drown and scarred emotionally but instead of taking it in negative way, we choose to take it in positive side and while struggling on coping things—we make it a good lesson to learn, and today, at this moment we our brave and smart to deal things.


The sorrows from the past steered of the blissful present. The despair from before brings a new hope at this moment.  The failure of yesterday contributes the success of today. NOW  matter the most in life.


There’s always a story in each and every wounds that leave a scars.

Scar that remind us some of the things that we want to forget. There are wounds that is best heal by time, just trust the time after doing something that it will be okay on its perfect time.

We been there and done that— our young-innocent heart once wounded and left by a mark, a big scar that sometimes make us weak to see the reality after what happened. But by the passage of time, we came out with the realization that its best heal by time. The pain is slowly gone until the time that we can bravely stand and talk about it. We can’t change the things that happened but we can always make it a baseline to avoid things to happen again. Feelings change but memories don’t.

First cut is the deepest, first heartbreak may leave a deep cut. Sometimes it is the reason why we fear to fall in love because of the thought that it might happen again. A new heartbreak, another wound and scar to heal, another pain to deal and another moving on process that usually takes time.

Love is the best gift God gave to humankind and He is continually giving to us. Loving makes the world go round; it is the music that everyone likes to dance with regardless of age. Everyone experienced different story of being hurt and wounded, but if there’s some who haven’t experienced it—lucky that person. Heartbreak should not the reason for us to give our best in loving and to stop believing in love. In life it’s the ability to GIVE, RECEIVE and even lost love. What a waste in life if we don’t love. Remember that when you been through from heartbreak, it will take time for you to welcome yourself in the next commitment because you’re extra careful choosing the next person to share the emotions. And you don’t have to end up in the same heartbreak that you passed through.

Either its bad or good things that happened, we have to take it as a lesson to learn.                        Experience is the best teacher. A heart break will mold you to be stronger person that you can, it will help you smart and mature enough to deal love. And one day we’ll find ourselves laughing at it and reminiscing how naïve we were before.


What is love? that’s the question I keep in mind everyday – I even asked my parents about it and the two of them agreed with each other answer, LOVE is when you care someone, you try your best to prioritized that someone happiness over yourself. But I guess love is best defined when you yourself experienced it. You’ll know what love is when you are in love.


And when you think about it, most love stories start that way. Every moment leading up to the one in which you will love somehow shapes you and prepares you for that person you were fated for. Any previous heartbreaks or dark days or lonely nights can be crucially important in the grand scheme of things—sometimes we need to know what something feels like when it’s wrong before we can ever really know it when another thing is RIGHT.

I been there and done that – failed relationship in love. In my case, love change me the way I think, the way I decide and sometimes I go against my principles and beliefs in life. Loving doesn’t guarantee that I’ll be happy always; there are times that it provides me pain and misery. Yet, I was blinded by strong emotions that I failed to see reality. Those days the answer was letting go, it hurts like hell but I realized that it’s better to see myself to be happy and grow with someone who deserves.

Things that I’ve learned from falling in love— that is to stand up no matter how painful the cuts, to fight for what I believe in, and to wait …because even if I think now is the right time to give extra effort, waiting is even more worth it. When you love, never stick to what your heart feels. Sometimes using your brain is necessity. Never use your eyes to cry over and over for the person who hurt you instead use it to search for the better one. Don’t be afraid of breaking up, there’s no use staying in a dysfunctional relationship. Give chance to the one who love you and willing to establish mature relationship with you. The one that will fight for you and stand in each and every consequence you’ll face.